Rebirth
by Wonder and Ashes
Summary: Finding out that Spike has a reincarnated sister who's a Slayer wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's ever happened. Nominated at Round 30 of the SunnyD Awards for Best Drama, Best Unfinished Fic and Best Original Character (Juno Jason/Kitty Pratt).
1. Prologue: Fate

**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter Notes**: First posted on _Elysian Fields_ September 4th 2014 as a response to a challenge.

* * *

><p><strong>Buffy<strong>

It's times like this when I realize why the Slayer usually works alone – no friends to get in the way and screw everything up.

"Xander, duck! Stay down! Willow, I told you not to use magic! Oz, get her away from them! Giles, if you're gonna shoot arrows, at least aim for their hearts instead of everywhere else!"

OK, so Giles can be helpful sometimes. But like me, his skills aren't on top form due to being distracted by the Trio of Tweedles. I mean, having the gang along so we can talk isn't so bad once in a while, especially since I don't see Xander as often as I used to, but when they attempt to slay the things _I'm_ supposed to slay, things just go wrong.

It makes me wonder how the hell they managed when I was gone that summer before senior year.

I hear Xander's cry for help, and turn away from the vamp I'm fighting to throw a stake at the one cornering him behind a headstone. It turns to dust. I'm then reminded of the one in front of me when it punches me in the face. Pissed off, I kick it where "the sun don't shine". It cries out in pain and collapses before me, and I twist its head off.

Hearing another cry, I turn to see Oz being pinned against a crypt by a vamp. Willow tries to get its attention by hitting it repeatedly with a stick, and I roll my eyes. "Willow, that's a glorified stake you've got in your hands!"

She turns to look at me, blinks, stares at the stick in her hand…and then connects the dots before ramming it into the vamp's chest. It cries out in pain before turning to dust. Oz slides down the crypt wall to the ground, panting for breath, and Willow joins him with a worried look on her face. Those two are too cute sometimes.

Giles shoots another vamp while I dust the last, and with the area clear we allow ourselves to rest.

"That's the last time I bring you guys along," I say, turning to the trio. "I know you want to help, but I could've dusted those guys a lot faster if I wasn't distracted."

Xander tries to protest, but Giles backs me up. "Buffy is right. If she is distracted while fighting, someone could get seriously hurt, including herself."

"Sorry, Buffy," says Willow. "It's just, you said that slaying isn't fun when you're alone, and that you'd kill for some company."

"I know," I tell her. "But I'm not desperate enough for it that I'm willing to risk you guys. If I ever find myself a slaying buddy, they need to be strong like me, so I don't have to keep an eye on them. But finding someone like that is like looking for a needle in a haystack – a strong, vampire slaying needle in a haystack full of vamps."

Xander nods. "I hear you, Buffy. It's not like they're gonna pop out of nowhere."

As if the fates themselves heard, something jumps out from the bushes. A vampire, clearly running from something. Giles tosses me a spare stake, but I only get as far as one step before the chaser appears, too.

She's young; about fifteen. A brunette with innocent-looking brown eyes. Jeans and t-shirts kind of girl. I watch as she leaps at the vampire and tackles it to the ground. That's when I notice the stake in her hand; she raises it high above her head and brings it down on the vampire…only she misses its heart by a few inches.

"Oh! No, that's not its heart…" She continues to mutter to herself as she yanks the stake out and brings it down again. This time she hits bull's-eye, and the vampire turns to dust before us, taking the stake with it.

The girl takes in deep breaths to calm herself before climbing to her feet, and only then does she notice us staring at her. Those brown eyes grow wide, and her resemblance to Bambi is uncanny.

"I…uh… I can explain…why that man just turned to dust…" She bites her lip as she avoids eye contact with us. A shy girl. Definitely not one who should be in this line of work. I sometimes wonder what the Powers That Be are thinking when they choose their Slayers.

"We know about vampires," I assure her. "Are you a Vampire Slayer?"

She nods, and I turn to Giles. Faith's death four months ago – something I would rather forget – should've called another Slayer. So when the Council reported that they were unable to locate her, there was more than a little confusion. Giles thought that maybe the Universe was trying to balance itself out again so that there's only one Slayer, but if so, why didn't it happen after Kendra died?

The Council thought this too, and have been searching for the missing Chosen One ever since. It's a shock for her to show up in Sunnydale out of the blue – and knowing exactly what she is, too. We'd all thought she would be like me; a Potential who was never routed out at birth.

And if the Council _had_ found her, we would've at least been told about it.

"I see that you have received at least some form of training," says Giles. "May I ask from whom?"

"My brother." The girl looks around. "He's around…here somewhere. We…we came across a nest of vampires; this one ran and I chased him." She gestured to the dust on the ground. "I'm…usually a little less…clumsy, but I'm a little off form tonight."

A British accent, like Giles's – meaning that she was right under the Council's noses the whole time. That's some hilarious bit of irony.

"Is your brother a Watcher?" asks Giles.

She shakes her head. "He's… Well, it's a little hard to explain…"

But before she can give her explanation, Xander calls for my attention. "Buffy… You might wanna turn to your right."

I do, and my eyes widen. Three large demons are making their way towards us, completely ignoring the fact that two of their would-be-victims are Slayers. But then again, I doubt even _three_ Slayers would be able to take those guys on, let alone one experienced Slayer and one who hasn't been Called for very long.

Rule number one of Slaying: Don't die. That means run. "Go!"

The others don't argue and run. I grab the arm of the younger Slayer and drag her along with me. Behind us the demons pick up the pace, growling like animals.

"What are they?" asks the girl. I hear the terror in her voice; obviously she's only just faced vampires during her short time as a Slayer.

"Demons. Not sure what kind; Giles will figure it out later," I say. "What's your name?"

"Juno. Jason," she replies. "You are Buffy, are you not?"

"That's me; she who hangs out in cemeteries."

"My brother told me all about you. We came looking for you."

Looking for me? And her brother told her about me? Wait… "Your brother knows me?" I don't remember knowing a guy with 'Jason' as a surname. There wasn't anyone at Sunnydale High; maybe in LA, but I didn't tell anyone other than Pike. Then again, Ford knew…

I look ahead and see Giles and my friends running into a crypt. Juno and I run to catch up, and are able to get inside and shut the door on the demons. They try pushing against it; they're strong, even with all of us attempting to keep the door closed, and I'm not so sure about our chances…

Then I hear a loud roar.

"Hey, what're you-?" The demon is cut off by, from what I can hear, someone or something punching it in the face. This is followed by a painful cry as I hear the familiar snap of a neck.

I feel the other two demons stop pushing against the door and turn their attentions on the mysterious attacker. "Whatta ya want, vampire? T'is is _our_ kill, so go get-" Another cut off, another punch in the face. I exchange confused glances with the others before deeming it safe to open the crypt door.

My eyes widen at the sight of bleach blonde hair and black leather.

It's Spike. _Spike_.

What's he doing back here? Where's Drusilla? Why's he helping us? So many questions I silently ask as we watch him wrestle with the second demon until he gets his arms around its head; he then snaps its neck and throws it on top of the first demon he killed.

The third demon takes one look as its dead comrades and runs, but Spike is fast and grabs it. But instead of killing it, he pins it down on the ground and gives a warning growl. Looking into his demon face… I don't think I've ever seen Spike look so scary.

"Hey…Spike. Buddy, c'mon…I know the Slayer's your kill, but we thought you were gone, and…"

Spike growls again. "It's not _that_ Slayer I'm concerned 'bout. She can handle herself. But the other Slayer is a whole other matter. You listen closely to me, mate, 'cause you'll be repeatin' it to every demon and vamp you meet. This new girl's a Slayer, and I get that she's gonna be fightin' evil every night. Fair enough. But if _any_ of you decide to gang up and try offin' the girl, you'll be dealin' with _me_. And I'm sure you all know how well _that'll_ end. Got it?"

The demon nods frantically. "Sure, Spike. Whatever you say. I'll…I'll go down to Willy's right now and spread the word."

"Yeah. You do that." Spike climbs off the demon as he shifts back into his normal face. He watches as the demon flees like the hounds from hell are after it…which would actually be a pretty good description of Spike.

Spike then turns to us, and I want to start asking my silent questions – what, when, why – but before I can Juno hurries past me with a relieved cry of, "Willie!"

Willie?

She rushes over to Spike, and I watch as all traces of anger melt from his face, replaced with happy relief. He gently rubs her arm when she reaches him. "Kitty. You alright?"

Kitty?

The girl – Juno? Kitty? – nods and they smile at one another, and then suddenly it hits me like a giant Slayer-smashing wrecking ball.

He's the brother. _Spike's_ her brother.

How can a vampire who's old enough to be my twice-great grandfather be this girl's _brother_?

I want to say that he's lying – that he's somehow convinced this girl that he's her blood relative in order to get close to her – but I can't. For starters, Spike doesn't work that way; he's more of a walk-up-to-you-and-admit-he's-gonna-kill-you kind of guy. Can't make a plan because he gets bored too easily, too quickly. Convincing a Slayer that he's her brother – another flaw; no one's that dumb – just so he can kill her later… No. He wouldn't do that. He can't lie to save his unlife, anyway.

Plus… There's no denying the tenderness in his eyes or the genuine smile on his face.

I turn to look at the others, and they're equally as wide-eyed as I am. Even the usually stoic Oz is in shock.

I can't stay silent any longer. "OK, I've seen some crazy stuff on the Hellmouth – but this takes the grand prize."

Spike looks over at me and he rolls his eyes. "Look, I'll explain in detail when we meet…wherever it is you lot usually meet, what with the school gone, and all. But long story short: Once upon a time I had a sister, she was Called as the Slayer, and she died. And now the Powers That Bloody-Be 'ave decided to reincarnate her." He gestures to the young Slayer still stood beside him. "Meet my little sis, Katherine Pratt."


	2. Chapter One: Chance

**Spike**

_4 months earlier…_

I see her lying in the middle of the dark alley, her broken bones tangled together with a pool of blood around her head. I collapse next to her, my tears staining the glasses upon my face.

It's my worst nightmare.

Which is what it is.

I wake up in a cold sweat, something that doesn't happen often since, well, vampire. But in certain circumstances… I throw the covers from me as I turn to put my feet on the floor. I take in deep, unnecessary breaths.

I haven't dreamt about Kitty in years.

My eyes scan the bedroom of the run-down apartment until I spot the half-empty glass of blood sat on one of the shelves. I push myself to my feet and grab it, before downing it with one gulp. The blood is gone off and stale, but I can't bring myself to care. I can't even bring myself to hunt. Not since Dru dumped me again.

I was so sure I'd get her back. Leaving Sunnyhell for the second time, I was certain my plan of tying her up until she loved me again would work. Dru was always so fond of bondage. But like with all my other plans, this one didn't work out.

I found her fucking a Fungus demon, still wailing about how I'm lost to the sunshine and about how I'm covered in the Slayer. What the hell does that mean, anyway?

No… Don't think about Dru. I sigh. But then if I don't think about Dru, I'll think about Kitty, and how I didn't get there in time to save her… How I didn't figure out what was going on until she was long gone…

I need to kill something. I grab my shirt and slip it on, before pulling on my boots too. I snatch up my duster before I leave the apartment.

The best thing about Texas: it's big. There's barely anyone around, and the other little Happy Meals living in the block don't seem to care that the guy who once lived in my apartment doesn't live there anymore. It's the perfect place to hide until I figure things out, like what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my unlife without Dru.

As I walk I wonder if I should just move on and be my own man – or rather, vamp – but the thought of being alone is unsettling. I need to have someone with me; someone to fight with, someone to care for, someone to cherish… Someone who won't leave, someone who stays because they want to…

I suddenly stop.

I lift my nose and sniff the air.

That scent…

Slayer.

At first I groan at the thought of the blonde bitch tracking me down, but then I realize that it's not her. Buffy's scent has always been different compared to other Slayers; hers is much…warmer. Stinks of the latest brand of perfume, too.

But this… This is different in its own way. This Slayer is young; freshly Chosen I'd say, by about two weeks at the most. No fun at all; I need a good kill, and a Slayer with barely any experience – heck, she may not even _know_ she's a Slayer – won't be much of a challenge. And it wouldn't be very sporting of me to just kill her. She deserves a fighting chance.

Still, she's worth having a look at, I decide. I look around, following my nose. There aren't many folks about; it's almost midnight, and most around are men getting drunk off their arses. I can sense maybe two or three vamps lurking about. The closest building is a road-side diner, and I hear laughter erupting from within. She's not in there; any Slayer with dignity wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that.

Finally I spot a small, slender form climbing out of a truck that's just arrived. She's wearing a jumper with a hood up, covering her face. On the run, then. I guess she's one of those rare Slayers who aren't found at birth and grow up without the usual introduction to the supernatural world at a young age. The thought makes me smile; at least this girl hasn't been brainwashed by the Council of Wankers.

I watch as the girl hands over some cash to the driver, who takes it with barely a glance at her. Obviously she hitch-hiked. At least the trucker didn't take advantage of her. I hate it when men do that, especially to girls so young. It's not right. Can't even stand it when vamps do it, and we're soulless; we've got an excuse.

The girl turns away from the truck and looks around. I can't see her face; it's hidden under the hood, but I can tell she's young. About fifteen at the oldest. She's a brunette, I note, when I see a lock of hair hanging out from underneath the hood. She looks over at the diner before turning away, flinching at the laughter coming from inside. A shy type; doesn't like crowds.

A stray cat screeches and runs out in front of her and she jumps, almost dropping her back pack. Jumpy; must be a timid little thing. Sometimes I wonder what the great Powers up there are thinking when they pick some of these girls; shy and timid gets you killed.

That's what happened to Kitty, and it's gonna happen to this girl sooner or later.

Sooner, I decide, as I watch her walk towards a dark alley. Yeah, suicidal much? I'd be doing her and the world a favour, fair play be damned. I'll make it quick so she doesn't suffer. A girl like her doesn't deserve the violent death she'll get if she runs into other vamps or demons who aren't so kind. She's been through a lot, I can tell; she'll get to go to Heaven and I'll have another notch on my belt.

I keep quiet as I begin to creep up on her. The buildings surrounding the alley aren't very tall, so I climb up onto the roof of one and follow her from up there. She obviously senses me, and starts to look around. I roll my eyes. _She's_ the one that walked into the dark alley; of course someone's gonna follow her!

I wait for the right moment, and it comes sooner than I hoped; she pauses, finally convinced that someone's following her, and turns around. If I jump now, she'll be looking straight at me when I pin her. Part of me – that softer part of me I sometimes wish would just take a hike – wants it. So I can assure her that it'll be quick and painless and she'll be in peace before she knows it.

I leap. She lets out a screech when she sees me falling towards her, but before she can run I have her pinned against the ground. As she tumbles her hood falls back, revealing her face.

For a second everything freezes.

I look into her eyes and I feel like someone's punched me in the gut.

I throw myself off her.

Kitty. _Kitty. _

Here. Alive.

I don't know what to do. I just stare, taking in deep, unnecessary breaths. It's not possible. She shouldn't be here; shouldn't be alive. I saw her body myself. It has to be some sort of sick dream…

But I felt her. She's real. She's breathing. She's alive.

She's…running.

I pull myself back to reality and see her running. And then I'm talking; calling out to her.

"No…no, luv, wait! I won't hurt you! Don't run! Please, don't run!"

But she doesn't stop running and turns a corner, and I run after her. I can't blame her for running; I hadn't vamped out, but having a strange man jump on you has to shake you up a bit. Chasing after her probably wouldn't help much either, but I can't let anything happen to her. I don't know why she's here or even if it's her at all, but _hell_ if I'm losing her again.

I turn the corner and freeze.

The three vampires I sensed earlier are surrounding her. One has her pinned against the wall.

_Nononononono…_

I vamp out and charge. I don't think I've ever roared so loud in my entire unlife.

The first vamp falls in seconds. I twist his head and he's dust. The second tries to throw a punch, but I grab his fist, turn, and snap his arm over my shoulder. I see several planks of wood, broken, that have been discarded in an old trash can. I throw the vamp into it; a bit of wood strikes true and he turns to dust.

The last one – the one who pinned her against the wall… I want him to suffer. So I pin him as he did to her, I take out my lighter and I set him on fire. He screams and runs, trying to get to a puddle in the middle of the alley, but he turns to dust before he can make it.

They're dead. They're gone. And Kitty's safe.

I turn to her; she's sat on the ground hugging her knees, and when I take a step towards her she whimpers. I remember that I'm still vamped out, and let the demon melt away. I try and give her the softest look I can muster in order to calm her.

She stares at me before her eyes roll and she passes out.

In a brief moment of panic I grab her wrist. I sigh in relief when I feel her pulse. Then I mentally hit myself; I didn't need to check. I can still hear her heartbeat.

I give her a once over to make sure she's not hurt, and when I'm satisfied I gently lift her into my arms, cradling her as I carry her back to the apartment. I still don't know why she's here, alive and well. It's her; I know it. It's not just the way she looks, but the way she walks and carries herself. I saw it as I watched her before; thought it was just wishful thinking, a result of the nightmare.

But she's here, and _hell_ if I'm gonna let anything happen to her.


	3. Chapter Two: Dreams

**Chapter Notes**: As per what the challenge states, Spike kills more Slayers in this story than he does in canon. Xin Rong is his second and Nikki Wood is his fourth. His first, who I've named Elizabeth Blackholm, is based on the Slayer from the non-canon novel _Blood and Fog_. His third is Sophie Carstensen, who appeared in the non-canon novel _Spike and Dru: Pretty Maids All in a Row_, where Spike killed her. His last is India Cohen, who appeared in the non-canon novel _The Book of Fours_; she apparently observed Spike and Dru but never engaged them, and it was her death that activated Buffy.

* * *

><p><strong>Spike<strong>

I can't help but listen to her steady breathing. It's useless to try and ignore it. Part of me thinks if I ignore it, she'll stop breathing, or she'll vanish, or…

My face falls into my hands. I can't believe this is happening.

She's alive. Part of me refuses to believe it; I saw her body myself. The world is just screwing with me, that part of my brain persists. It always happens; I'm given happiness before it gets taken away again. It always happened with Dru.

But then… She's real. I keep on looking into the bedroom, over and over. Sometimes I walk over to touch her. She's real beneath my hand, and her looks don't change. It's really her, only instead of the dresses I'm used to seeing her wear she's dressed in a jumper and jeans and a pair of old trainers.

It reminds me of the clothes she wore when I saw her…

I shake my head. I can't think about her death – not when she's come back to me, alive.

Reincarnation. It has to be. There's no other explanation, and I've heard that it can happen with Slayers. Whether or not she has her memories from her previous life… That's another thing altogether. She may not even remember me. She was scared enough when I jumped on her.

I can't bring myself to regret doing that. If I'd decided not to, I would've just left her, and then she would've been killed by those vamps… The thought of her dying again terrifies me.

These feelings never went away when I was turned. I felt them for Dru; that determination to keep her safe no matter what. They haven't been this intense since she was taken in Prague.

The Council could come and find her. It wouldn't take them long to track her down. The thought of them coming and taking her… I grip the table and it almost splinters. If those wankers try and take her they'll be in pieces before it'll even _register_ how bad an idea it is. I have a right mind to take the next flight back to Merry Old and kill every single one of them myself. But I can't take the chance; if I die, they'll be no one to look out for Kitty.

Speaking of… I hear a change in her breathing and her heartbeat pick up. She's awake.

I don't know what to do. I don't wanna scare her, but I also want to assure her that she's safe. Lying in a strange, dirty bedroom… She's gonna make assumptions of the wrong kind, and that'll only lead to set-backs. Especially since she saw my demon face. She's a Slayer, but she doesn't know that, nor does she know anything about the monsters that go bump in the bloody night.

And I'm one of them. A reincarnated Slayer with a brother who's one of the very creatures she's supposed to slay. Proof that the Powers That Be just love to bloody mess with us.

I realize that she might try and climb out the window if she's desperate enough, so I decide to venture into the bedroom. I need to just be calm and try not to scare her. Not something I've done before as a demon, but there's a first time for everything.

I decide to give her a warning so knock on the door. I hear her gasp inside. "You awake?" I hear her heartbeat pick up, and my own unbeating heart breaks a little. "Look, I know you're scared, but I'm not gonna hurt you, alright?"

I hear her shift on the bed. "They…they always…s-say that."

Her voice is the same, too. British. Must've flown over. "I _mean_ it. I'm sorry I attacked you, but if I'd seen your face…" I sigh. I can't tell her that she's my reincarnated sister. I can't dump too much information onto her at once. "Look, I'm comin' in. Please, don't panic. I promise I won't hurt you."

She doesn't say anything, and I enter. She's pushed herself against the headboard and is hugging her knees again; her brown eyes watch me, and despite my assurances I still see fear in them. My heart breaks a little more.

I approach her slowly, trying not to startle her. Then I sit at the end of the bed, giving her the space she needs. I need to earn her trust, and hugging her tightly whilst crying and telling her how much I've missed her… I need her to know that she can trust me – that she's safe with me.

I avoid eye contact with her and remain silent. I don't wanna put her under any pressure, and waiting for her to speak on her own is the better option. Telling her everything feels too much like I'm forcing her into this new life; letting her ask the questions is easier, so I know she's ready to learn.

"What are you?"

I knew that was coming first. My eyes finally meet hers. "Vampire. A demon. Creature of the night. Whatever you wanna call me. They exist, and they're everywhere."

She nods. She doesn't deny their existence, like a lot of people usually do. "I have never seen them before. But recently… I see them everywhere. What's wrong with me? Am I…?"

I know what she's gonna ask, and I shake my head. "You're not a vamp. To become a vamp you've gotta be bitten by one. You're something else, sweetheart; a Slayer."

"Slayer?" Her head tilts in confusion – just like it used to.

I try not to sob. "Vampire Slayer," I explain. "One girl Chosen in all the world to hunt and kill vampires and demons alike; to protect the world from evil. You've been Chosen, and before you ask, there's no goin' back. The only Slayer retirement package is the permanent one; death."

She looks away, and I can see that she's trying not to cry. "I didn't ask for this."

I try not to cry, too. I know she didn't ask for it before, either. "No girl does. It's just fate. Cruel, if you ask me; askin' a young girl like you to fight monsters."

She looks at me then. There's still fear in her eyes, but not as much as before. It's been replaced by cautious curiosity. "So if vampires and Slayers are enemies…why are you helping me? Why save me at all?"

I had hoped I wouldn't have to tell her this soon, but… She needs assurance that I won't hurt her. And what better assurance than this? "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"I…" I can see that I've surprised her. "I'm not sure. I know there has been evidence to suggest that it's possible. Are you saying it's true?"

"I'm lookin' right at the proof." She gives me a confused look, and I continue. "When I was alive, I had a sister. Her name was Katherine, and it was my job to protect her. Our father was dead and our mother was ill, and she had no one else. But then she was Called as the Slayer. She never told me; the Council made sure of that."

"Council?" she asks.

"The Watchers Council," I explain. "Every Slayer has a Watcher; one who guides them on their quest to rid the world of evil. They suck at their job; they don't care 'bout the girl at all. Never met her Watcher, but I saw him at her funeral."

"She died?"

I nod. "I followed her out one night…but I was too late. I found her…" My voice breaks as I recall the memory of seeing her broken body lying there in the street. The urge to hold her close grows stronger, but I resist. I don't wanna scare her. "I didn't understand why she was taken. She was innocent; purest as they came. She didn't deserve that. I only realized what had happened after I was turned and told about Slayers; the bites that covered her, her sudden strength… But it doesn't matter now."

I watch as she connects the dots and it dawns on her. "I…_I'm_…her. I'm Katherine."

"Kitty…" I almost give into the urge to touch her – I even raise my hand. But I see how badly my hand is starting to shake and I pull back. "I know you've been born to different parents – probably under and different name as well – but you're her. You look like her, you walk like her, you talk like her… I know I'm a vamp now – I know I'm a monster – but when it comes to family nothin's changed. I'm never gonna hurt you, and I'm never gonna let anything else hurt you. You understand?"

She watches me, and I can see that the fear is gone. "I…I don't remember you." I suspected as much, but my heart still sinks. "But…I believe you. Your eyes speak the truth." She uncurls from her defensive position and crawls towards me. Then, sitting before me, she smiles.

I can see the trust in her eyes. She trusts me.

I smile, too. "So what do they call you nowadays?"

"Juno Jason," she says. "You?"

"Spike."

* * *

><p>I crash on the couch while she sleeps in the bed. I try to stay awake so I can listen out for her, but sleep unwillingly takes me and I can't pull myself away.<p>

I'm a prisoner in my own body, or rather, my past body. I'm William again, living in London with Mother and Kitty. I can tell it's before she was Called as the Slayer, because she's smiling.

"Do you suppose we could visit the market today, Willie?" she asks hopefully.

Nothing's changed; I could never deny her anything back then, too. "Of course we can, Kitty."

There's a time skip, and her smile is gone. Mother is ill – and Kitty has been Called. Despite knowing it's futile, I try and inform her that she can tell me anything; that she doesn't have to listen to what the Council says. But all I can say is, "Kitty, are you well?"

"Yes," she says. "I am fine. Only worried for Mother."

Back then it made sense. But I should have known something else was going on. Time skips again and the maid is hurrying towards me, telling me that Kitty has climbed out of her window.

I know what night it is.

I'm helpless to watch as I run out into the street in search of her. Then I see the sight that has haunted me for over a century.

Her broken body.

I cry.

Then I'm at her funeral. Mother was too sick to go; Kitty's death made her condition worse. I see an unfamiliar man who doesn't even bother to offer his condolences. He looks almost disappointed.

The Watcher. I know that now. I so desperately want to take control of my body and beat him to a bloody pulp, but I can't. Instead I turn and walk away, and my younger self ignores the man's mutterings about Slayers and vampires.

Time jumps forwards. I'm a vampire, and Angelus is holding a stake to my heart.

"If I can't teach you," he says in his thick Irish accent, "then an angry crowd will. That, or the Slayer."

"What's a Slayer?" I ask.

He tells me. It was at that moment that my younger self connected the dots, and realized that Kitty had been a Slayer. That was the day I became a man obsessed.

I met my first Slayer eight years after my turning. Elizabeth Blackholm, a cockney girl from the streets of London. A disappointment to her Watcher, and she wanted to prove herself. Decided that taking down Darla and Angelus would get his attention.

Instead she came face to face with me.

One time skip later, I'm fighting her. She's sloppy, but I didn't care about that back then. I was angry, and I was taking it out on her. She was the Slayer because Kitty had died. Kitty was no more, and this Slayer was proof of that.

"I didn't want this!" she yells as she tries to hit me.

"So I'll take it from you." I give her a blow to the head, take her in my arms and rip her throat out. I'm overwhelmed in Slayer blood.

I offer the dead Slayer to Dru, and she gleefully feeds. I even offer some to Darla and Angelus, wanker I was back then; wanting to impress them. And I did. Things were actually alright between us for a year until the Poof tried to teach me about "The Art of Killing" again and I disappointed him.

But that was his signature. Slayers became mine.

Another time jump, and I'm fighting my second. Xin Rong, Boxer Rebellion, China. Unlike the first, this one's got skill. But no imagination. I'll admit, I got this one through luck; she almost had me, but an explosion outside knocked her off balance. It's not long before this one is in my arms and I'm ripping her throat out, just like the first.

Back then, I didn't speak Chinese. But I picked it up years later, and I was finally able to understand what she told me.

"Tell my mother…I'm sorry."

Her words and the sadness in her eyes…

I couldn't let it get to me. That Slayer was around because Kitty was dead. I kept telling myself that. But this Slayer had a family as well…

Life's not fair.

Another time jump, another Slayer. Sophie Carstensen, a Danish girl back in the forties.

Dru had convinced me to start killing Potential Slayers. Had it in her mind that one would take me from her someday. I believed her – I was fighting them after all – and while I didn't like the thought of killing girls that young, I went with it. They were around because Kitty wasn't. I kept telling myself that.

The Slayer tried to stop us. I fought her. I won.

"It is not like we have a choice," she tells me as I hold her in my arms, blood dripping from her neck and my fangs. "We do not ask to be Chosen."

I let her die, of course. But her words stuck with me for a long time afterwards.

It wasn't a Slayer's fault they were called. They were just like Kitty; thrust into a world they're not ready for only to die young at the hands of a monster. I'd been blaming them for something that wasn't their fault.

Watching other Slayers…I concluded that Kitty's death was the fault of the Watchers Council. They're the ones who push. They're the ones who don't care if the Slayer lives or dies.

One time jump later, I'm attacking one. But his Slayer – Nikki Wood – defends him. Fighting her is exhilarating; since killing Sophie, I grew to respect Slayers as worthy opponents.

We take the fight to the subway, and after a good long while – almost all night – I kill her. I take her coat as a trophy. It's a nice coat.

I didn't drink from her that time. Slayers deserve better.

Another time jump – I'm getting sick of these time jumps – and I'm fighting the fifth. India Cohen. American girl who was brought to Japan by her Watcher – specifically to kill me. And just when I'd decided to leave Slayers alone for good.

Of course I fought her. And of course I won.

"I want this," she tells me as she dies. I did not know it at the time, but in killing her I activated one Buffy Summers in LA, California.

Time skips several times then, showing me my time in Sunnydale; meeting Buffy, resenting her for preventing me from healing Dru, allowing my previous anger at Slayers to take control where she was concerned… Then there was our truce, my rather embarrassing return after Dru dumped me, and what I told her and the Poof before leaving.

Suddenly I'm awake – and feeling the weight of everything I've done.

I look towards the bedroom where the girl still sleeps inside. She knows I'm a vampire, therefore she must know that I've done bad things. But does she truly understand? Could she forgive me for the deaths – all the pain – I've caused?

I sit upright suddenly. Her breathing's not right.

I rush into the bedroom and find her tossing in bed. She's having a nightmare. "No…no…"

In an instant I'm by her side. "Kitty… pet, wake up. Kitty, wake up!"

Her eyes snap open and she sits upright with a gasp. "Oh…oh god…"

"Kitty…" I rub her arm gently, trying to comfort her. "It's alright… Was only a nightmare."

She turns to me, and I see it in her eyes. Recognition. And not just as the vampire who saved her and took her in, claiming to be her brother.

She knows who I am.

"W…Willie?"

I can't hold back any longer, and I do what I've been stopping myself from doing since I found her. I pull her into a tight hug and hold her close, rocking her soothingly from side to side.

"Yes, it's me, kitten. I'm never lettin' you outta my sight again."


	4. Chapter Three: Truce

**Buffy**

_Present…_

"Since then I've been trainin' her. No matter wha' I do, she's a Slayer and she's gonna be one for the rest of her life – and I won't always be around to protect her." I watch as Spike tenderly brushes aside a stray hair from Juno's face, and she sends him a smile.

Part of me wants Spike to be lying, but…no one's _that_ good an actor. He genuinely cares about this girl – a girl he believes to be his reincarnated little sister from his life before he became a vampire.

Giles is seemingly convinced, too. During the story he got up to search through the Watchers diaries and brought one back. But he doesn't open it until Spike's done.

"Good lord," he says, and I know he's found the startling truth – that Spike is _telling_ the truth. "There was indeed a Slayer named Katherine Pratt in 1879. She did not last for very long."

"So?" says Xander. Of course he would be the first one to deny all this. "He probably looked it up as part of his well-schemed plot to kill us all. Can we just stake him and get it over with?"

Juno looks hurt and Spike growls. And Xander complains that Cordelia has no tact. I go to tell him off but Willow beats me to it; she elbows him in the gut. He yelps and turns to her, but anything he's about to say dies on his lips when he sees Willow's resolve face.

"This is not some made-up story," says Giles. He wordlessly hands me the book and I gasp. There's a picture of Katherine stuck to the page, and she looks exactly like Juno – only more Victorian-y. She's stood with her family, consisting of her mother and…

My eyes widen. It's Spike – with brown curly hair and _glasses_. "Oh my god, Spike. Did you seriously look like this?" He actually looks…cute. In a nerdy kind of way.

"What?!" His eyes widen and he leaps at me in an attempt to snatch the book, but I avoid his hands and toss the book to Willow.

She, Xander and Oz get a good look at it. "He looks so gentleman-y," Willow says, while Oz just looks mildly interested, like he always does. Xander snickers.

"Yeah, laugh it up, Scoobie Snacks," says Spike. "Laugh at how William the Bloody was once a bloody ponce. Just remember that the same man is sittin' here right now and is no longer a _man_."

Xander promptly shuts up and Willow quickly hands the book back to Giles.

"What I would like to know is how Juno came to the States in the first place?" asks Watcher-mine.

Juno avoids eye contact with everyone, and Spike gently rubs her back to sooth her. "I…err… I was having dreams about this place. Sunnydale, I mean. Then I broke a boy's hand when he tried to push me, and saw it as a good reason to leave. I…I was scared of what I could do. I could barely make a punching bag move and…and suddenly I was punching it off its hook. I…I did not want to burden my dad with any…trouble, so I left."

"Your mom?" I ask.

"Dead," she says. "She…she would have been able to handle it. She was strong. Ever since she died, Dad and I haven't been very well off. He gets scared like I do. I…I knew it would be better if I went away."

"And why fly to Texas if you were coming here?" asks Willow.

"Florida," she corrects. "I was in Florida first. We have family friends who live there. I figured that if I flew to Florida, Dad would think I have gone to them and will look there first. Instead I would be hitch-hiking or taking a bus to Sunnydale. The trail would go cold."

"And instead of making it to Sunnydale you run into the bleach wonder." Xander flinches away before Willow can elbow him again.

Juno nods. "It's true that he has been training me over the summer. He didn't want me coming here defenceless."

"And why come here at all?" asks Giles. He looks at Spike.

The vampire sighs, and I can tell that he's been waiting for this question. "Slayer, Watcher; a word alone?"

I exchange a glance with Giles, and he shrugs. There really isn't any harm in talking to Spike alone. I can see that he's serious, and having Willow asking questions and Xander making comments can sometimes be distracting. I can always tell them later if I need to.

We both nod and stand up, and he follows us into the kitchen. I hear Willow ask Juno a question and I'm certain she'll make the girl feel right at home.

Once we're in the kitchen it's Spike who speaks first. "Is it true you quit the Council?"

"Yep," I reply. "No more taking orders from me. Not helping Angel when he was poisoned was the final nail in the coffin, but I lost my trust in them with the Cruciamentum test." I try not to look at Giles, knowing how guilty he always looks whenever I mention the test.

"For the record, they asked me to do that," says Spike. "Turned them down. Didn't think it was fair."

This both surprises me and not. He was desperate to kill me before, and yet he always played fair enough; he didn't go after my friends and family (apart from with the Willow and Xander kidnap-age, but hey, he was drunk) or try to use them against me, and he didn't play with my head like Angelus did.

"What does the Council being absent have to do with this?" asks Giles.

Spike rolls his eyes. "Do the math, Watcher. Kitty's a Slayer; they're Watchers. I wanna keep her off their radar, and I know I can't protect her alone. They're the reason she died the first time around; they didn't care 'bout her. They brainwashed her with black and white rot about the demon world, and about how vamps are just the demons that killed them-"

"They _are_."

"They're _not_." He scoffed. "C'mon, Watcher. I thought you were different. If those wankers were wrong about that Slayer test, ergo that means they're wrong about other stuff, too."

Giles blinks. "Are you suggesting-?"

"It's still a demon, and most of them still deserve to be killed," Spike continues. "It all depends on how the demon takes you; some are strong enough to fight it and keep some of their humanity, like me. Others aren't so lucky. Added to that, the demon amplifies who they were before."

I shake my head. "That's can't be true. Otherwise Angel-"

"Angel was a whoring drunk," says Spike. "Why d'you think he's such a bastard without that soul of his keepin' him in check? That ain't his own soul they shoved into him, else he would've only brooded for a bit before gettin' right back to drinkin' and partyin'."

I want to yell at him and tell him that he's lying, but I can't. He wasn't lying before about Juno, and he's certainly not lying now. It would…explain things, I realize. Apart from mentioning how he always thought the upper class girls were boring, Angel never told me anything about his past life, even when I ask. Keeping that dirty secret from me – that he was nothing but a "whoring drunk" like Spike said – makes me think.

It makes me think that the man I fell in love with may not even exist as a real person.

"And before you say anything," Spike adds, "vamps don't kill their families after they're turned. That was just Angelus. Something you lot need to learn; not every word Angel says is some kind of vampire bible. My family were dead when I was turned, but if they weren't I would've put them on a slow boat to China in order to get them far away from my so called _new_ "family". But back to my point; I don't want Kitty anywhere near those Council of Wankers."

"Are they really as bad as you're saying?" I ask, but I already know the answer. They almost had me killed, and they refused to help Angel.

"They're controlling; they brainwash their Slayers to their way of thinkin'," says Spike. "They make the Slayer believe that they have to be alone in the world; they don't let her talk to her family or let her make friends. Why d'you think you've lasted this long, Summers? 'Cause you have that. You have ties to the world; I heard that boy Xander gave you CPR and saved your life. Havin' help keeps the Slayer alive. They keep you happy so you don't lose the will to live. I've killed five Slayers, luv, and every single one of them had a death wish. That's what the Council does to them; they make a Slayer's life miserable until they can't stand it any longer. They give up, and they die."

What he's saying makes sense. I'm different from other Slayers for two reasons; I've lived longer than them, and I have family and friends. It makes a lot of sense with those two things going hand in hand. Slaying is hard, but I live with it because I have Mom to come home to, and I have my friends to hang out with. It's no wonder Giles let me keep my friends and let me stay with Mom; he must've figured out the same thing.

"So what do you want from us?" I ask.

"I want you to give her what you have; family and friends," says Spike. "I'm here, but I'm not enough. I meant what I said; I can't protect her on my own. Not only can you give her happiness, but you can give her protection. You're a hero, Slayer; I know you hate me – and I can't stand you, either – but it's not about me, it's about _her_. It's about what _she_ needs. And right now she needs to stay alive and away from the Council."

"And what about you?" asks Giles. "You know we cannot allow you to roam free in this town, murdering the populace."

"I haven't killed anyone since I found her, Watcher," Spike admits. "Wasn't really killin' anyone before then either; was too heartbroken over Dru. But I told myself I was gonna change for her, and that's what I'm doin'. If I'm gonna kill anyone it'll be any Watcher besides you that gets within the same _zip code_ as her."

I don't say anything to that. Killing people is still bad, but I can't blame him for that death threat. If I was in the same position, I'd be thinking the same.

"So all you want is for us to help you protect her?" I say.

"That's all I ask, Slayer."

He hasn't even asked anything for himself, and that gets to me. He's actually desperate. It's kind of obvious; coming to his mortal enemy for help. I mean, he's a powerful vampire; couldn't he just find a gang of strong demons to do the job? But it's like he said; he wants Juno to have the happiness I have.

I look into the other room and see my friends talking to her. Juno seems to have warmed up to Willow and Oz easily enough, which isn't a surprise; their calm temperaments can make even the shiest person comfortable. And Xander is making her smile with his jokes, which is good, too.

We may hate Spike – maybe a little less after this – but this girl needs our help. Plus, she's a Slayer; she's like me. And maybe helping her will take away some of the guilt about what I did to Faith.

I turn to Spike. "We'll help. But we have ground rules; no killing or hurting humans unless it's in self-defence or in defence of others. You're bagging it from now on."

"Been baggin' it since I found her," he says.

OK, I should've figured that one out. "Good. You may still hate us, Spike – granted that feeling's mutual – but we need to get along. No taking the piss out of my friends, and at least _try_ to act civil around other people. I'll tell my friends the same thing."

"Not worried 'bout Red or Wolf Boy," he points out. "The Whelp will be the hardest."

"Don't call him that." But I agree with him; Xander's gonna have the hardest time with this. "And I'm assuming that you'll be making yourself useful by patrolling."

"Been patrollin' with her," says Spike. "Got no ties to my own kind since Dru left me, and vamps and demons hate each other enough already. No problems there."

I nod. I can't believe I'm actually looking forwards to patrolling with him, but then again, it would be nice to patrol with someone I don't have to watch out for. And I also know that Spike won't try and cut in on my fights to protect me like Angel used to do. This gives me another thought. "And…you can be my sparring partner, too."

This takes him by surprise. "What?"

"Buffy?" Giles is also surprised.

"When we're not training Juno, of course," I explain. "I need to stay on the top of my game, and Giles, I can't keep fighting you. I need an equal who can take my hits; who can give me a challenge."

"Wouldn't mind havin' one, too," says Spike. I can see the wheels in his head turning; he's coming to the same conclusions as me.

I hold out my hand. "So do we have a deal?"

He nods without hesitation and takes my hand. "Deal."

We shake.

"So," I say, "does Juno have a place to stay?"

* * *

><p>Mom, of course, completely understands after I tell her the story, and is happy to let Juno stay with her. Since the spare room is filled with her stuff from the art gallery, we decide to let Juno use my room.<p>

"If you need someone to keep you company at night, you have a lot to choose from," I tell her, gesturing to my collection of stuffed toys. I pick up the round, green pig. "Mr. Gordo's a good listener."

She smiles. "Thank you, Buffy." She looks away, and is quiet for the rest of the time taken to move the few bits of art that Mom stored in my room. I understand; Spike explained that she's very shy and didn't have many friends back in England. She's just not used to so many people helping her.

It makes me want to break something, knowing there're nice people out in the world like her who aren't happy.

Spike enters the room and sits next to her on the bed, and I decide to leave them to talk. I go down the stairs to check up on Mom.

"Are you sure this is OK?" I ask her.

"Don't be silly, dear," says Mom. "The house is lonely without you. It'll be nice having someone around to take care of. She needs a mother; I can tell." She opens the fridge, but instead of taking something out she just looks. "I may have to clear out the bottom draw for Spike's blood."

I blink in surprise. "Mom?"

"Well, it has to go somewhere, and it has to be kept cold," she continues. "And I can't have it near anything else."

"You say that like he's staying here." Is she serious?

She looks at me then. "Of course he is! Why wouldn't he?"

I go to reply but find that I don't have an answer. My usual reply of 'he's a dangerous vampire' doesn't really work because he's already promised that he won't kill anyone. And even then, he didn't kill Mom before when he showed up on her doorstep a little under a year ago.

Any argument I could make before – he's evil, he's disgusting, he's _Spike_ – has been rendered invalid by the arrival of his reincarnated sister.

Mom sighs. "Honey, look at him. That boy would do anything to protect his sister; he won't let her out of his sight. If he doesn't stay here, he'll be sleeping in his car right outside. Or worse yet, he'll sleep in the tree in the front yard, which is a risk when the sun comes up. Obviously the best thing is to let him stay here. Is there really a problem with that?"

No, there isn't, and I know it. At least I'm at college and not sleeping under the same roof as him. "Fine. He can sleep in the basement."

"Honey, the basement? He's our guest."

I try not to flinch at that word. A vampire – our _guest_. I might as well just break out into song, tap-dancing on the table while singing _Be Our Guest_. It wouldn't make the situation any more ridiculous than it already is.

"He's also a vampire," I point out. "They prefer the dark. He'll like it down there."

"I'll like what?"

I turn in time to see him enter the kitchen. Juno isn't anywhere in sight, and I guess that she's making herself at home in my room.

"There's a pull-out cot in the basement," I tell him. "You can sleep there."

He looks surprised by the offer. "Yeah, that's fine with me," he says with a shrug. "May still have to cover the windows to stop Mr. Sunshine from gettin' in." He then turns to Mom. "Do you still have those little marshmallows? Kitty wants some hot chocca."

"Yes, I think I do." She starts opening cupboards and taking out the stuff she needs. "And you tell her that this is her home now; she can help herself to whatever she needs. Same goes for you, too."

We've been in the house for about fifteen minutes and Mom's already treating them like members of the family. What's the world coming to?


	5. Chapter Four: Talk

**Chapter Notes**: A big thank you to everyone who voted for me at the SunnyD awards! I won **Best New Author**, **Best Romance** (for _A Thousand Years_) and **Best Movie Crossover** (for _La Belle et la Bête_). I was also Runner Up for **Best Fluff** (also for _La Belle et la Bête_).

* * *

><p><strong>Spike<strong>

I sit at the island in the kitchen, a cup of hot chocca in my hands as Joyce puts the various bits and bobs away. I'm waiting to hear from Buffy for a potential patrol, and Kitty is already in bed. The journey here was tiring.

We've already been in Sunnydale for twenty-four hours, and things are better than I thought they would be.

The Slayer and her mates are still weary, which I expected, but they're not as weary as I'd thought they'd be. Red and her Wolf Boy seem somewhat at ease, after I apologized for the kidnapping and the 'bottle-in-the-face' threat. The Slayer keeps looking at me – like she's half-expecting me to suddenly reveal that I lied and I'm gonna kill her – but she's taken with Kitty and wants to help her. I thought the Watcher would be the hardest to convince, what with years of training and lies in his head, and he's still giving me the same looks as the Slayer. But I can tell that he's fascinated with the whole reincarnation thing, and the idea that a soulless demon can care enough to do what I'm doing.

The Ponce is, of course, still seething with hate. He seems to like Kitty well enough, but he glares at me whenever we're in the same room. I can tell it's about more than me knocking him out and kidnapping him that time; his hate goes deeper.

I have no problems with Joyce. She's a fine lady, polite and kind-hearted. Would never think to hurt her even before all this. Helps that she hit me with an axe that one time.

Kitty likes her, too. It only took Joyce and hour to gently ease her out of her shell, and it wasn't long before little sis was telling her all about her life back in England. Joyce is a good woman. Reminds me of Mum.

I grip the mug in my hands. That's the one lie I told – that she was dead before I became a vamp – and not just to the Slayer and her Watcher. Kitty thinks the same thing. I can't tell her what really happened – that I tried to save our mother, but instead I created a monster that wore her face.

She wasn't strong enough to fight the demon. And I can't imagine what I would've done if Kitty had been alive…if I'd decided to try and save her…

"Spike?"

I turn to Joyce. She's looking at my hands, and I look down at them. Only then do I realize that I've broken the handle of the mug.

"Balls!" I slap my hand over my mouth too late. "I'm so sorry, Joyce. Didn't mean to do that…or say that. My head was in a bad place, is all."

"It's fine," she says. "That mug was old, anyway. Just throw it out once you're done with it."

I can't help but stare at her in awe. Completely understanding, completely forgiving. I can list all the atrocities I've done in my unlife, and I wouldn't be surprised if she forgave me for all of them. Sure, I wasn't Angelus, but I've done some pretty nasty stuff over the years. I'd never tell her, though; a lady like her doesn't deserve to hear horror stories like that.

With the bits and bobs put away, Joyce takes a seat opposite me with a cup of coffee. "So what happened with that woman? Priscilla…"

"Drusilla," I correct her. "I tried to make it up to her, but she dumped me for a _Fungus_ demon. First a Chaos demon – all slime and antlers – and then she takes a step down and dates sentient Fungi. Think 'Swamp Thing' only less humanoid and more disgustin'. She has no taste sometimes." I gulp down the rest of my drink before getting up to put the broken mug in the trash.

Joyce speaks again when I return to my seat. "If she could throw away what you had so easily, then did you really have anything to begin with?"

I want to tell her that we did; that Dru is the love of my life and no one can measure up to her. I want to tell her that our love is meant to be, and that sooner or later Dru will come crawling back to me. But I can't lie to this woman – and honestly I'm tired of lying to myself.

"When she turned me, I thought she was my everything," I tell her. "Didn't take me long to figure out tha' she belonged to Angelus. But I kept tryin', hopin' she'd see how much I cared for her compared to the Poof. When he got himself a soul I thought it was my chance to prove myself, and for a while things were good. But sometimes she'd sleep with something else, and I was too taken with her to stay mad. I forgave her every time, 'cause that's what people in love too. But I was blind; I saw what I wanted to see instead of the real picture. Dru was insane; she couldn't love properly. I ignored that and kept tryin'. I didn't like seeing her ill, but after Prague I took good care of her and thought maybe then she'd see me. But then Peaches had to go and lose his soul, and she was off with her dear Daddy while I was kicked to the curb. And even after that I was willin' to forgive her, but no. She'd had enough of me."

"You're like Buffy," Joyce says. I want to deny it, but I can't bring myself to be angry at this woman. "When I look at Angel, I see a man who's too lost in himself and his pain to fully love someone else. I see a man who hides himself and his past; a manipulator, even with his soul. But Buffy sees him differently; she sees a man who's perfect and can do no wrong. It's common in someone so young; she forgave him too easily and ignored all his wrong doings because she loves him too much. She doesn't want to think about it because otherwise she'll get hurt, and she doesn't want that. It's first love, nothing but – and I'm hoping she figures that out for herself, else I'll be having words with her. I think she may be starting to see the truth, after what happened with Faith."

Faith. The Slayer that went bad. "Heard 'bout that one. They say she died. The proof's upstairs. What happened?"

I watch as Joyce contemplates telling me. "She… Things were hard. Faith had a hard life; she was always on her own, and to suddenly have friends… Buffy kept secrets from her and things took a wrong turn. Faith made some bad choices, one of them being a strike against Buffy through Angel. She poisoned him."

Ah, so that's what the Slayer was talking about. I did wonder. "Special vamp poison. Only cure is…" Then it dawns on me what happened to Faith.

Joyce nods. "Buffy attacked Faith. She didn't kill her directly; the poor girl fell off her balcony during the fight. Buffy was so shaken after it happened. I held her while she cried for hours. By the end of the night she concluded that Angel made her do a bad thing, and that it's better if he left. I agreed. Angel isn't good for her; can you believe he called their love a freak show?"

I really can't believe it, either. "Wanker. Any kind of love is beautiful, no matter what."

"That's exactly what I told her," she says. "I agree that their love was dangerous and irresponsible, but a freak show? He was clearly making excuses for himself, trying to give other reasons why they can't work when the real reason was he couldn't sleep with her."

"Idiot, through and through," I say. "I may not like the girl much, but I hate Peaches a lot more than her. She's better off without him."

"I only hope she sees that for herself," says Joyce.

I'm about to say more – explain that if _I_ can see the fault in Dru then Buffy will come around eventually – when my ear twitches. I'd been half listening to Joyce's words while also listening out for Kitty upstairs. I hear the slightest change in her breathing, and her heart rate picks up. Nightmare.

I jump out of my seat and hurry up the stairs. Joyce follows, not needing me to explain that something's up.

I run into the bedroom and see Kitty tossing in bed. I hurry over to her. "Kitty! Kitty, wake up!"

She sits upright with a gasp. I rub her back to calm her down, and in the background I hear the phone ringing. Joyce leaves to pick it up.

"That was…different from the others," she says. Her nightmares are mostly about her death with the exception of a few.

"Different how?" I ask.

"There were demons," she explains. "And vampires. But they were being captured by these men from the army. Then they were taken to this laboratory to be experimented on. I know you said that most demons are evil, but… They were in so much pain. It was horrible."

I'm reminded of my misadventure in the forties – Nazis, submarines and my souled-up grandsire. How the Nazis thought they could control vampires is beyond me. But I wonder: could that little idea have survived into the modern world?

Joyce enters the room again. "That was Buffy. There's been some trouble, and she wants the both of you to meet her at the dorm."

"Sure. I'll be there," I say. "I'll tell her that Kitty-"

"No." I give Kitty a concerned look, but she pats my shoulder. "I'll be fine, Willie. I need to know this stuff."

I nod, knowing she's right. Then a poster on the wall catches my attention and I can't help but growl. "Bleedin' hell."

"What is it?" asks Joyce.

"When this is over, I'm gonna kick myself 'til I'm bruised." I point at the poster. "My arch rival – the girl who used to kick my arse every Tuesday – is a fan of the soddin' _Backstreet Boys_! D'you know what it'll do to my street cred if that gets out? I'm ruined!"

Kitty giggles while Joyce rolls her eyes.


	6. Chapter Five: Jerk

**Buffy**

Things were going great. Willow watching Oz perform, me watching Parker play pool before getting asked to a party; all good on the normal side of the life of Buffy Summers.

Then vampire Harmony had to ruin the great night by trying to kill Willow. I always knew she had it in for us.

I help Oz treat Willow's neck as she tells the story, and after some internal debate – 'internal debate'; Giles will be so proud of my extended vocabulary – I decide to call Spike and Juno. She needs the experience after all, and despite the attack on Willow, I can't imagine Harmony being that dangerous. She'd make a pretty good practise vampire for the younger Slayer.

They arrive at our dorm…only for Spike to bounce off the barrier. "Slayer?"

I roll my eyes. "Come in, Spike."

He enters before asking what's up, and I give him and Juno the low down on what we're dealing with.

"So this bird was a school mate of yours?" Spike asks.

"She was one of Cordelia's followers," I explain. "Practically her clone in the 'being a bitch' department, but at least Cordelia was smart; Harmony was so dumb I'm surprised she even _graduated_."

"I'm surprised _anyone_ graduated with that big snake trying to eat us," says Oz.

Spike's eyebrows rise. "Are things always this crazy here?"

"Giant snakes don't even register three on the scale of weirdness," I say. "Despite everything, I actually feel kind of sorry for Harmony; it was my job to keep our class mates safe. That, and she must be _dying_ without her reflection."

"She made me so mad," says Willow. "She was being all nice at first, and then out come the fangs. And then she tells us that her boyfriend is gonna beat us up."

"Her boyfriend?" I ask.

"Well, if you believe her," says Willow. "She always lied about stuff like that. 'Oh, he goes to another school. You wouldn't know him.' Not even Cordy could stand her when she was like that."

"I think Devon dated her for a while, but she was too flaky for him," Oz speaks up.

I shake my head, thinking about the poor soul – or rather, soulless monster – who may or may not be dating her. "A guy dating Harmony dead; must be the most tolerant guy in the world."

"You'd be surprised how tolerant we can be," says Spike. "I had Dru for over a century."

"So will we be looking for Harmony?" asks Juno. It's the first time she's spoken; she's only been watching us talk, listening quietly but also content to.

I shrug. "A quick sweep wouldn't hurt."

I leave Willow with Oz and venture out into the night with the vampire and second Slayer in tow. We check the Bronze first, and finding nothing – no Harmony or any other gang member of the undead – we do a quick sweep of the cemeteries.

Juno wanders on a few paces ahead, giving herself space. I watch her for a little while before turning to look at Spike; he watches her like a hawk, and even though I can't see it, I know his other senses are on high alert for anything that might harm his little sister.

It's been twenty-four hours since they arrived, and I keep telling myself that this is Spike; a mass murderer who almost killed me and my friends many times since he came roaring into town during junior year. And yet, I remind myself that Spike is not like other vampires; loyal to Drusilla for over a century, and even _I_ couldn't deny the fear in his eyes when I threatened to stake his girlfriend that time.

I want him to be the soulless killer I always thought him to be, because then things would be easier. But I can't ignore the tenderness in his eyes whenever Juno is around.

"I doubt she's about," he says. He doesn't take his eyes off Juno. "Unless she's really as stupid as you say, she would've gone back to where she's nested. Probably back to her boyfriend for a good shag."

"If she even _has_ one." I agree; we're probably not gonna find her tonight, and things are quiet. There don't seem to be any other vampires around. "Do you think you can take Juno out tomorrow night for a sweep? It's just… A guy asked me to this party."

His eyebrows go up. "Movin' on pretty fast, Slayer. Need to be careful. Can't have some wanker breakin' your heart so soon."

"Why do you care?"

"I _don't_," he says. "But a distracted Slayer is a _dead_ Slayer. If I hadn't been fangs on wheels, I could've taken you back when… Well, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout."

I do, and I'm grateful that he doesn't say you-know-who's name. "I get it, but Parker's nice. He understands."

"Yeah. Sure he does." He speaks in a way that could have a second meaning, and I don't really get it. But it's Spike, and while he's annoying, I've found him to be pretty perceptive, too.

But about what?

* * *

><p>"Some party, huh?"<p>

I look around at the wild mess, and I can't help but remember my _last_ frat party – which almost ended with Cordy and I getting eaten by some snake demon. But this is alright, I guess. Can't see any demons hovering around, can't sense any…

Suddenly my senses scream _vampire!_ And not just any vampire; a master vampire.

I scan the room…before sighing. Spike is standing by the door, staring right at me. Great, what does he want now? I'm on a date. Unless he found Harmony. I can see Juno standing behind him, looking nervous.

"Um…" I turn to Parker. "Could you get me a drink?"

"Sure." He walks away without question. Such a gentleman.

I make no effort to hide my annoyance as I stride over to the waiting vampire. "OK, you better have a good reason for interrupting my date with Parker."

"Parker? He park cars for a livin'?"

I roll my eyes. "Spike… OK, that was a bad joke, even for you. Like, Xander-Joke bad."

He shrugs in agreement. "Yeah, I know. Give me a mo; I think I can come up with something better."

"Willie?" Juno tugs on his sleeve to get his attention. I can barely hear her over the music, but straining my ears I'm able to pick up what she says. "I need to use the toilet."

Spike's embarrassment makes up for his interruption, and I try not to giggle.

"It's over there." I point to a door that's out of the way of the main party. "No one's using it right now."

"Thank you." She quickly hurries towards it.

Spike goes to follow her, but I stop him. "Whoa there, Knight Templar. I really do get why you're doing this whole 'Big Brother Is Watching' thing and I completely understand your reasons. But Juno's a big girl; she needs space, and I'm pretty sure she can use the little girl's room without your help." I can see that he's worried, and for some reason I lay my hand on his shoulder. "She'll be fine. There're no demons about."

"I think there _are_ some nasties lurkin' about, Slayer," he says. "We're trackin' that Harmony chick and followed her here. Think she's with her boyfriend."

I really want to hit something, but I can't hit Spike so I fight the urge. "Ugh. Why can't vampires understand? Buffy needs dates! Parker is a really nice guy; he actually _has_ a reflection! He's sweet, dependable-"

"You sure 'bout that, Slayer?"

"Yes!"

"Then why is he puttin' unwise moves on _my little sister_?"

I turn and I can't believe what I see.

And what I see is Parker trying to touch up Juno. He keeps attempting to rub his thumb along her cheek, and every time she tries escaping into the bathroom his grip on her arm only tightens. She looks terrified.

I don't realize that Spike's moved until he's across the room and ripping Parker away from Juno.

"That's my _sister_, you bloody pillock! Back off!"

I hurry forwards to make sure Spike doesn't rip his head off – although I wouldn't blame him if he did.

Parker raises his hands. "It's cool, dude."

"_Cool?!_" I can see that Spike is one step away from doing something I'll probably have to stake him for. "Not only is she _fifteen-bloody-years-old_, but she was tryin' ta get away from you!"

People are staring but I don't really care. I can't look away from Parker; the soft expression I'd grown so used to over the past week is gone. What happened to the nice, understanding guy I was falling for? Does…does he not think I'm good enough for him?

"Parker…" I don't know what to say.

He notices me then. "Buffy, I can explain-"

"You don't have to explain anything to her, you pillock," says Spike. "I know your type. Tell me, how far are you into the Freshman Conquest?"

"Freshman Conquest?" I turn to Spike.

"There's always that one guy in college who decides to take advantage of all the new, sweet, naïve little girls," he explains. "Makes them feel sorry for him, sleeps with them, then dumps them and moves onto the next unsuspectin' victim. So what story are you usin' on this one, mate? Dead relative, perhaps? Might have to make a note of which one, else they'll catch you out if your story ain't consistent."

I want to come to Parker's defence, but I can see him panicking; if it wasn't true, he wouldn't have anything to be worried about. So why does he look ready to wet himself?

"Probably sold some other rot, as well," Spike continues. "Make yourself out to be the guy who "gets it"; the only guy who understands. You say you're not doin' it to get sympathy, and yet that's _exactly_ what you're doin'. Then you give them more rot about seizin' the day, and before you know it, she's in your bed. So how many girls before this one?"

"You're lying."

"I can practically _smell_ them on you." And being a vampire, he probably _can_. He then turns to the rest of the party, and only then do I notice that the music has stopped and everyone is watching us. "Alright, let's have a show of hands. How many ladies here have fallen for the charms of this piece of shit? This year, last year; doesn't make a difference."

"Oh…" I can't believe it when a good number of girls all raise their hands. Maybe it's not just me, after all…

"First off, I'd like to apologize for what this wanker put you all through, since _he's_ obviously never taken the chance to," Spike continues. "I can probably guess how he made you all feel; useless, worthless, like there's something wrong with you… Well, bollocks. _He's_ the one with the problem. I'm sure all of you are fine ladies, and I'm _certain_ none of you deserve the hell he put you through after tha' one night. So don't put yourselves down over a worthless piece of shit like him."

"Why you-"

Parker tries to attack him from behind, but Spike doesn't even have to look; his fist flies over his shoulder and Parker is on the floor in seconds. Two other guys – just as disgusted as everyone else – come forwards and grab him, ready to chuck him out.

There's a round of applause and Spike bows. "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week." Juno hugs him.

Then he turns to me, and I don't know what to say – because I realize that he's just saved me from a huge mistake.

"I…I can't believe I got that close to doing something _really_ stupid."

"Not your fault, pet." The music starts up and everyone around us gets back to the party. "Don't blame yourself for the actions of some twit who treats his girls like shit. Now will you be a bit more careful?"

"What do you mean?"

"It hurts," he says, and I know what he's talking about. "I've been there with Dru. But tryin' to fill the hole in your heart by throwin' yourself at the first bloke you see ain't gonna help you. Squish that desire to be loved by someone and take your time."

That's pretty good advice…and I can't believe I'm getting it from _Spike_, of all people. But I guess he knows what he's talking about; he loved the same woman for over a hundred years.

I think back to the realization I made about Angel; are nice guys even real? Angel is apparently nothing like he was when he was a human, and the perfect guy I found in Parker now doesn't exist, either. I'm about to voice this thought when I spot a familiar face over Spike's shoulder.

"Harmony!" She's trying to sneak out of the party with who I assume is her boyfriend, but I can't see him behind…the blood-drained guy they're holding between them.

Hearing her name called, Harmony looks over at me before screeching. She drops the body, grabs her boyfriend's hand and hurries outside. I give chase, leaping over the body. As I run, I look behind me; Juno is following while Spike goes to assist the guy on the floor with some other party-goers.

I find Harmony in the bushes outside. I pull her out, along with her boyfriend…and freeze.

OK, that's it. I'm seriously getting tired of high school following me to college.

"Jonathon?!"


	7. Chapter Six: Gem

**Buffy**

I really can't help myself.

I laugh. So hard.

I mean, _Jonathon and Harmony?!_ They're probably the two people I _never_ expected to hook up. Talk about a crack pairing – or whatever it is Xander calls those pairings which make no sense.

The fact that these two are vampires and have probably killed people doesn't take away the laugh factor.

"Stop laughing!" Jonathon protests. "I'm a dangerous vampire now, so you had better watch what you're doing!"

His words only make me laugh more, but I calm myself down. I can't help but remember what happened only a few months ago, when he climbed up into the school clock tower with a gun in order to kill himself…

"Stop picking on my boyfriend!" Harmony tries to jump at us, but Jonathon stops her.

"Not yet, darling," he says. "It's not time."

"Yeah!" she agrees. "But when we get the Gem of Amara, you'll be sorry!"

Jonathon sighs with frustration. "Honey! We're villains! And villains don't reveal their evil plans to the heroes! That's where Lex Luthor slipped up!" He grabs her arm and drags her away.

"Should we chase after them?" asks Juno.

I shake my head. "Just leave them. We'll get them next time."

Spike arrives. "I called an ambulance for that other guy."

I blink in surprise. Spike being good? When did that happen? Oh yeah, when he showed up in town with his little Slayer sister. But he's actually trying instead of just putting up with us, and I wonder how much of an effect Juno is having on him.

"Buffy knows the boyfriend," Juno says.

"Jonathon," I say, trying not to laugh again. "Nerdy guy. As in the _last_ person who would date Harmony Kendall. One of them must've lost a bet, or something."

"Fledges, from the smell of them," says Spike.

"Probably both got bitten during the chaos of Graduation," I say. Then remembering what Harmony said, "They're looking for something. The…Gem of something. Uh…Amara."

Spike's eyes widen. "Gem of Amara, did you say?"

"Yeah." I see the recognition in his eyes. "You know of it?"

"Yeah. Best get to your Watcher."

* * *

><p>"The Gem of Amara? Are you sure?"<p>

I nod. "Yeah. Spike was surprised, too. What's up?"

"It's not real; a myth," says Giles.

"I'll do you one better; it's soddin' wishful thinkin'," says Spike.

"The vampire equivalent of the Holy Grail," Giles adds.

Juno frowns. "But vampires are already immortal, are they not?"

"We can't die by the usual means of old age and a bunch of other stuff, right," says Spike. "But we can still be killed; stake to the heart, fire, sunlight, holy water, beheading… The Gem protects us from that, so the wearer becomes truly immortal."

Giles nods as he begins to rummage through his books. "The Gem of Amara is said to hold enormous power." He pulls out a book and opens it to the right page. "Yes, here it is. There was a great deal of vampiric interest in locating the Gem during…oh, the tenth century. Many vampires searched the Earth but it was never found, and it was concluded that it simply doesn't exist."

"Well, Jonathon seems to think it exists," I say. "But why search for it here?"

"Perhaps because it's a soddin' Hellmouth?" Spike suggests.

I shrug. "That's usually the biggest reason. And here I thought demons only come here for the restaurants."

We leave Giles's place, and split up once we're down the street. Spike tells me that he's taking Juno home, and says he'll then go into Willy's to see if he can get some information. I nod and bid them both goodnight before walking back to the dorm.

Having Spike on our side… It still feels weird, but at the same time I realize that I've slipped right into it. It's like he's always been there helping instead of trying to kill me, and I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

And I realize that if Spike hadn't been there tonight, I wouldn't have dodged the bullet that was Parker Abrams. I have a deep, sinking feeling that I would've slept with him tonight, and would've regretted it in the morning. It would be the Angel-heartbreak all over again, only without the killing and the bloodshed.

Willow's asleep when I arrive back at the dorm, and I decide not to wake her. I can tell her about my near miss in the morning. Instead I get undressed and into my PJs, and my head hits the pillow as I decide that having Spike around may not be so bad, after all.

* * *

><p>"So Parker just turned out to be a First Class jerk, huh? Poophead."<p>

"The poopiest," I say. "I…can't believe I'm saying this, but I really owe Spike one for showing me what was going on. If he hadn't done that, I would've made a really big mistake."

Willow nods. "I was weary about him – you know, the whole 'bottle in the face' thing – but now I'm in his corner. And Oz can be, too." Then she starts giggling. "But _Jonathon and Harmony_?"

There's a knock at the door, and I let Giles in.

"I've found a text," he says, opening the book he brought. "It refers to the Gem of Amara as residing in the 'Valley of the Sun'."

"Ah. Demon fancy talk for Sunnydale," says Willow.

"It seems that Jonathon may know what it's about," Giles continues. "The Gem may exist after all, in Sunnydale, in a sealed underground crypt."

"OK." I nod. "Why don't you guys try and locate the crypt. I'll get Juno and Spike and we can try and find Jonathon before he gets there. Spike said he was gonna try and find some information at Willy's; he may have something."

Giles frowns. "You seem to be putting a remarkable amount of trust in him so soon. I know he came to us for help, but-"

"He deserves our trust," says Willow. "Spike stopped Buffy from making a big 'one night stand' mistake last night."

"What?"

"Parker," I tell him. "Turns out he's a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy. And if Spike hadn't said anything, I would've been his next Girl of Conquest."

"Good lord. That was…remarkably thoughtful of Spike."

"He didn't really do it for me," I say. "He was just mad because Parker tried hitting on Juno."

"But she's fifteen!"

"I know, and if Spike hadn't given him a black eye, _I_ would've given him two."

* * *

><p>Spike hadn't heard anything at Willy's, and the search for Harmony and Jonathon proved to be fruitless. I saw Parker again, and the shiner on his face had me suppressing several giggles. I then had girls asking me for Spike's number, and that just made me laugh more.<p>

I mean, I can't blame them. Spike made them feel like they were worth something; he told them that what Parker did to them wasn't their fault. Plus, he's pretty good looking, and…

Oh god, what am I _thinking?!_

"Everybody! Giles has a TV! He's shallow like us!"

I'm pulled back from my _really wrong_ thoughts by Xander, who's sat cross-legged in front of the now on TV. Does he help at all? Then again Oz usually does and he's too mesmerized by Giles's album collection…and for that matter, so is Spike.

"I'm with Wolf Boy; I'm movin' in, Watcher," he says.

Giles just rolls his eyes.

The news story that comes on catches our attention; a giant sink hole near the university campus. That means tunnelling, which means…

"Jonathon," I say. "We need to get over there."

"We might be too late, but it's worth a try," agrees Giles.

Spike hoists his duster over his head in order to avoid the sunlight, and I really can't help but stare at him as he does. Seriously, going out in the day time when other vampires are all tucked up in their little coffins? I know he just wants to stay near Juno wherever she goes, but I can't help but think that Spike is one weird vampire.

We're able to find a way into the tunnels. There aren't any vampires in sight, although it's obvious that they've been here. Jonathon couldn't have done this work alone, plus we pass a dead body that's been chained up.

"Group feedin'," says Spike. "Bloody disgustin', if you ask me."

"So you're telling us you _didn't_ chain people up to feed on them?" Xander accuses.

Spike shrugs. "Used to prefer drainin' them on the spot in a dark alley, plain and simple. 'sides, Dru never liked to share."

"Spike, please don't talk about your old eating habits," I tell him.

We follow the tunnel and find the entrance to the underground crypt. The air is a little thin, but breathable. Once inside we find it full of treasure. Lots and lots of valuable-looking, oh so pretty treasure.

"You can give some of this to your mum," says Spike. "Sell it at her art gallery, and she'll make a fortune. Doubt with this lot either of you would ever have to work again."

Before I can reply I hear a sniff, and turn my torch towards the source. Jonathon is curled up in a ball on the floor, and he's been crying.

"Jonathon?" It's Willow who speaks. "What happened?"

"She used me," he says. "All she wanted was the Gem. She doesn't like me at all! She used my brain to get her in here, and then she just took the Gem and left!"

Ah. Harmony was using him. That makes much more sense. And…I didn't know Harmony was that smart. Maybe I should give her a bit more credit?

"Well, next time you shouldn't listen to Harmony Kendall; she's bad news," says Xander.

"Being a vampire sucks!" Jonathon suddenly shifts into his game face, but instead of attacking he just runs past us and jumps down the hole.

"And he didn't even tell us where Harmony went," says Giles.

"Do the math, Giles," I say. "It's Harmony, not some super villain genius. She probably went to the mall – or she went to find a mirror. The Gem can give her a reflection, can't it?"

"Don't rightly know." Spike shrugs.

"Juno and I will go look for her," I decide. "The rest of you stay here."

Spike's eyebrow rises. "I'm takin' orders from _you_ now, Slayer?"

"Spike, I need someone to stay here who's strong enough to protect them, in case more vampires show," I explain. "And that's you, unless you wanna risk Mr. Sunshine again. Plus, gathering all this stuff to sell was _your_ idea."

I jump down into the hole before he can argue. Juno is hesitant to leave her brother, but she follows. Spike probably gave her some encouragement despite his protests.

"So Harmony is not all that dangerous?"

"Any fight she knows will be some kind of clawing cat fight," I tell her. "I saw her and Cordelia fight over the last pair of high heels in a store once. It really wasn't pretty. But believe me, you have nothing to worry about."

We find Harmony in a clothing store in town, trying to eat one of the clerks behind the counter. She really doesn't put up much of a fight, and I'm content to stand back and watch as Juno takes care of her. The girl has a long way to go, but she's still pretty good. I recognize a lot of Spike's moves in her style, and… How have I gotten to a point where I recognize Spike's style?

Juno is able to take the ring, and Harmony is sent running. The last I see of her is her shoes sticking out of a sewer entrance.

After showing the ring to Giles, I stop by my house to see if Juno's doing OK. She still got a little bruised in the fight.

"She's fine," assures Spike. "So, sendin' the ring to you-know-who?"

I contemplated sending it to Angel, but in the end decided against it. Because I know Angel, and I know he won't use it. He likes the dark; he thinks he deserves to stay in the shadows. If I try giving him the ring, he'll either hide it or destroy it.

But Spike… Spike's been risking the sunlight in order to stay close to Juno. Weird, but strangely heart-warming. Still, I can't just give it to him. He's only been around for a couple of days; not long enough for me to trust him.

I take it out of my pocket and show it to him. "I've decided to give it to you, Spike – but only after you prove that I can trust you."

The understanding part of his expression, I get. It's the surprised part that throws me.


	8. Chapter Seven: Scare

**Spike**

I get that the Slayer doesn't trust me enough to just hand the Gem over. What surprises me is that she even considered it in the first place.

She explains further about her decision not to give it to Peaches; she claims that he won't use it at all and may even destroy it. I agree. He thinks he deserves to stay in the dark. The shadows suit him. And he's all about the 'greater good' – it's the only reason I can think of why he would leave a woman like Buffy, and hell why am I even _thinking_ that? – meaning he'll destroy the Gem 'for the greater good'.

And that just ruins it for us other vamps who _need_ it.

Like me, who needs to keep an eye on his little sister twenty-four/seven without turning into a walking flame.

Halloween arrives, and instead of preparing to spend the night in like a good little vampire, Kitty drags me out of the house and over to the Whelp's in order to help out with pumpkin carving. This particular holiday's not as big over the pond, and she's excited about experiencing a _real _Halloween.

And like always, I can't deny her anything.

We arrive around the back of the house and knock on the basement door. The Whelp answers, and his smile at Kitty turns into a scowl when he looks at me.

"Oh great, the evil dead decides to grace us with his not-so-wanted presence," he says, stepping aside to let Kitty in.

I wait patiently. "Mind givin' me an invite?"

"To you? Not likely."

"Xander." Red steps beside him and points at Kitty, who's gone from smiling to looking at her feet. "Remember what Buffy said?"

The boy just looks between Red and me like we've both grown multiple heads. "What, I'm supposed to be _nice_ to him? And I don't want him coming into my house whenever he feels like it!"

"Like I'd want to come into your house anyway, Ponce," I say.

"At least around Juno," Red says again. "Do you want me to give you the resolve face?"

The Whelp sighs before stepping aside. "Come in…jerk."

I bite back an insult of my own as I pass him. I also refrain from hitting him; he wiped the smile off Kitty's face, and I can't stand for that. But if I hit him then the Slayer won't be happy, and she's actually been treating me decent lately. Probably has a lot to do with her near miss with that jerk I've conveniently forgotten the name of.

We carve pumpkins and things are going well. The Whelp complains about how his isn't scary, and I bite my tongue. I just ignore his comments and focus on helping Kitty with hers. It's easy to ignore anyone when I'm with her; that little smile is always enough to brighten up my whole day.

What I don't ignore is the Slayer's analysis of the life of a pumpkin.

"They grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others," she says, her fingers dipped into the pumpkin's insides. "Then someone comes along, cuts you open and…rips your guts out."

Isn't that was she does to demons on a nightly basis?

"OK, and on _that_ happy note…" The Whelp gets up stating he's got a scary movie for us to watch, only to bring out _Fantasia_.

"I love that movie," says Kitty, and I smile. It's probably a wise move that the Whelp got _Fantasia_ instead of some other scary horror flick like he was supposed to. Truce be damned, I would've ripped his head off if he scared Kitty.

"I thought we were doing the scary house," says the Slayer. I can see that something isn't quite right with her; that depressing tale about the life of a pumpkin pretty much gave it away. "Which sounds lame."

"It actually borders on fun," says Wolf Boy. "You have to go through this whole scary house maze to get to the party, which is usually worth getting to. Those guys go all out."

Of course, this is all news to the Whelp, who starts complaining about how he keeps getting left out of the loop, which leads to Red inviting him to come with them. Which then leads to Kitty getting invited, which leads to…

"You can come too, Willie," she says. "Having an actual vampire at a Halloween party would be-"

"Bad," says the Whelp. "Besides, vampires stay in on Halloween. It's kind of a thing for them."

"I don't know. I might just take you lot up on your invitation." I can't deny Kitty anything, so I'm coming. Rattling the bones of the Whelp is just an added bonus. "'Sides, I think I might make a new tradition of goin' out, since the last time was so fun."

"Last time?" asks Kitty.

It's Red who explains. "Two years ago there was this spell that changed people into their costumes. I was a ghost, Xander was a soldier, and Buffy was-"

"A freaking damsel in distress," says the Slayer. "I should've just gone as Xena."

There's definitely something up with her, and I don't have to guess to know what it might be. "Slayer, if you're still hung up on that college-layin' git, don't be. He's not worth your time."

She looks at me in confusion, and I get why. Sure, we're on the same side and the truce is conditional on all of us getting along, but that doesn't mean I have to make her feel better over some wanker she tried dating. I don't even know _why_ I'm trying to reassure her.

"Either the smell of the pumpkins is getting to me, or Spike said something I actually _agree_ on," says the Whelp. "Seriously, who here wants to smack that guy?"

We all raise our hands.

"I'm not 'hung up'. I'm _so_ over him," says the Slayer. "It's just… Like every girl I wanna find that right guy, but so far I've fallen for two guys who weren't who I thought they were. Parker turned out to be a jerk, and Angel… Well, you all know the story there."

"I don't," says Kitty. "Willie told me a few parts, but-"

"Those are the only parts I'm lettin' you hear," I tell her, trying to ignore the Whelp's snickering at my new nickname. I don't mind Kitty calling me that – it reminds me of better times over a century ago – but the boy can at least grow up about it.

The Slayer speaks again. "Back to my point. I just…I just feel like this is all it's gonna be. I'll date a guy, but then he turns out to be evil or just a jerk."

"What you need, Slayer, is time," I tell her. "Allow yourself to get over the Poof properly instead of clingin' onto the first guy you meet. Then you can see clearly and you'll find that…right guy you're lookin' for."

"Spike's right," says Red. "Don't give up, Buffy."

"Huh. 'Spike's right'. There's two words I never thought I'd here." The Whelp raises his hands at Red's glare. "I don't mean it as an insult."

I'm…right. I just gave the Slayer helpful advice. Bloody hell, what's _wrong_ with me?

* * *

><p>I decide to just go as myself. Put on a vamp face, pretend it's make-up; putting on a costume's not my style.<p>

Red takes Kitty out to buy her costume while the Slayer asks Joyce to re-size and old Red-Riding Hood costume of hers. When Kitty gets back she proudly shows us a costume that makes me smile. She talked about the series enough back during training.

"Jedi," I say. "Why am I not surprised?"

"It came with its own lightsaber, too." We walk into the dining room where Joyce is finishing off the Slayer's costume. "What are you going as, Buffy?"

"Red-Riding Hood." She tries the red hood on for size. "That feels better. I can actually breathe now." She and Joyce then look at one another. "Oh no. Someone's getting the nostalgic face."

"I'm sorry," says Joyce. "I'm thinking about the little girl who wore that. What is it, five or six years ago?"

"Back when Little Red-Riding Hood was the cutting edge in costumes," says the Slayer.

I look at her and try to imagine her six years ago. I've seen the pictures around the house, but it's hard to imagine the little girl I see as the same girl who used to kick my ass every week. But then again, I never would've thought Kitty would go on to fight monsters and demons.

Why do girls have to be Chosen so young? What the hell where the bloody Powers That Be thinking when they decided upon that? I look at Kitty and try to imagine the woman she could've become had she not been Called.

I overhear the Slayer saying something about men – how she opens her heart to them only for them to bail on her – and I'm shocked when I realize that I'm feeling for her. I haven't even been in Sunnyhell for a month, and already things are going how they usually go for me.

But this… I suppose this isn't as bad as all the other times. There's really no harm in forming an actual friendship with the girl.

* * *

><p>Kitty sticks close to the Slayer and I as we make our way through the campus. I see her gripping her lightsaber tightly like it's a security blanket, and I gently place my hand on her shoulder to silently assure her that she's safe. I keep my hand on the small of her back the rest of the way.<p>

The Whelp shows up dressed like a glorified waiter. "What've you got in the basket, little girl?"

"Weapons," replies the Slayer. "Just in case. Like the tux, Xander."

"Bond. James Bond," says the Whelp. Yeah, like he can pull off cool. But Halloween's about dressing up as the opposite of yourself, so… "Insurance, you know, in case we get turned into our costumes again. I'm going for a cool secret agent guy."

The Slayer just looks at him. "I hate to break it to you, but you'll probably end up as cool head waiter guy."

I chuckle, and the Whelp glares at me. "I see you've made no effort whatsoever."

"Why should I when I have my costume right here." I change into my game face before shaking it off again.

The Whelp just ignores me and turns to Kitty. "Ah, Jedi Master Jason. May the Force be with you." He bows.

She bows back, smiling. Alright, the Whelp's earned points for making her smile. "All I need now is the ability to move things with my mind."

"And I'm sure Willow can help you with that." He points to where Red and Wolf Boy are approaching us. She's dressed as a medieval knight while he's…come as himself. Original.

"Medieval Wills," says the Slayer.

"I'm Joan of Arc," says Red. "I figured we have a lot in common. She was almost burnt at the stake and so was I, plus she had a close relationship with God."

As she says this, Wolf Boy pulls back his shirt and reveals a name sticker saying 'Hello, my name is God'.

"That's really clever," says Kitty. "Since God made man in his own image."

"See, that's the costume you pick if you're expecting to change into someone powerful," the Whelp complains.

We continue walking until suddenly three men dressed as commandos step out in front of us. They look at us for a moment – their eyes linger on me for the longest – before they move on, really getting into it.

"Nice costumes," says the Slayer. "Very stealthy."

I agree, and yet… I turn to watch them go, and I can't help but wonder if there's something more to them. Especially since the largest one keeps looking over his shoulder at me even as we go our separate ways.


	9. Chapter Eight: Fear

**Spike**

The others are talking about some chick named Anya and the Slayer is complaining about being the third wheel – technically speaking she'd be a fifth wheel if she's not counting Kitty or myself – when we arrive at the house.

But when we get inside I sense something's wrong.

"The joint's not jumping," says the Whelp. Like that wasn't obvious. "Where is everybody?"

"Follow the signs," says Wolf Boy.

The sense of something not being right doesn't go away, but I can't really put my finger on what it could be. Everything looks normal; it's really not all that scary for an actual creature of the night, and the Slayer agrees.

Red freaks about a cobweb – which may or may not be decoration – and then we get the first laugh of the night: a skeleton jumps out at the Whelp and he screams like a girl. I chuckle, Kitty tries not to laugh and the other three don't look impressed with him.

"I wasn't scared," he denies. "Just in the spirit."

"Good. I was worried for a minute there," I say with sarcasm dripping. "You know how badly my pride would be hurt if I found out the guy on the same team that used to foil my every plan was scared of a plastic skeleton?"

The Whelp glares.

Suddenly Wolf Boy is leaping towards Red, and that's when I notice a whopping great spider on her shoulder – and a _real_ one, at that. The Slayer and Wolf Boy help get it off of her while Kitty – who is terrified of spiders – hides behind me.

"OK, that is _not_ sanitary!" says Red.

"Where'd it go?" I look around for the spider while trying to keep Kitty behind me. All I see is a plastic spider lying on the floor.

My senses go off again like an alarm bell, and I find myself exchanging a worried glance with the Slayer. I can see that she's picked up the same feeling.

"You know, let's get to the party part of the…party." She quickly walks by us, and we follow. Kitty grips my sleeve, and I take her hand in mine.

We follow the signs until I pause, my eyes fixed upon a spot on the carpet. It's red, and it smells a lot like… "Blood." I kneel down and run my hand through it, before having a taste. "Human."

"Now's not the time for a snack, fang boy," says the Whelp.

The Slayer kneels beside me and dips her hand in too before smelling it. "He's right. This isn't fake. Something's wrong."

"OK, actual creeps have been given." The Whelp looks around wearily. "Bravo, frat boys."

The Slayer shushes him, having heard something. I can hear it, too; a squeaking noise. Rodent. Kitty grips my hand tighter; she can hear it as well, and while she's not afraid of mice or rats…

But focussing my ears better I realize that it's not rodent squeaks, and I look up. "Oh, bloody hell."

The others look up too…to see dozens of bats on the ceiling above us.

It's as if they sensed us looking at them. They fly down, and we duck. I make sure to shield Kitty as she yelps in terror, and when they're gone I notice one lying on the floor. Wolf Boy picks it up, revealing that it's rubber.

"What the hell is going on here?" asks the Slayer.

"Seems like some kind of magic mojo to me," I say.

The Whelp clicks his fingers, having remembered something. "The guys painted some weird symbol upstairs. I didn't really get a good look at it, but it could have something to do with all this. None of them knew what it was, and they didn't seem like the kind of guys who would check the label first."

A loud, booming voice echoes throughout the house. This would usually be my kind of party if it wasn't freaking the hell out of Kitty.

When we turn into the next room we find ourselves right back where we started. Only a few things have changed.

"Where's the stairs?" Why does the Whelp keep pointing out things that the rest of us can so obviously see? Does he think we've all gone blind?

"The door…" Willow points at the wall where the door used to be.

"This _is_ the way we came in, right?" asks the Slayer.

Kitty doesn't let go of my hand. "Everything _looks_ the same. But if it _is_ magic, then would it not change things around? To make us more scared?"

"She's got a point," I say. "Whatever mojo's been done, it's makin' everything ten times as scary. Lucky for us it wasn't really that scary to begin with."

Wolf Boy cuts the power to shut off the Halloween soundtrack.

"Let's get out of here," says Red. "We don't know what we're dealing with."

Then the Slayer thinks she hears a noise, and I do too. We walk around the room, following the sound, and looking around I realize that the Whelp is gone. I frown, and I'm about to ask his whereabouts when the Slayer opens a closet to reveal a crying frat boy.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know…"

"Chaz." Wolf Boy kneels to his level. "What's happening?"

"It…it's alive…"

"What's alive?" asks the Slayer.

I hear something behind me and I turn just in time to see a skeleton – the same one that had been plastic and had scared the Whelp only five minutes ago – raise a knife at Kitty. I vamp out and hit it across the room. It lands, and as it does it turns back to plastic again.

I shift out of my game face as the Slayer kneels down to examine it. "It _was_ alive…but now it's not."

The frat boy shuts the closet door again. "Cowering in a closet is starting to seem like a reasonable plan," Wolf Boy comments. But then we look at it again and realize that the closet is gone.

The Slayer walks over to her basket and takes out some weapons. "I'm gonna make my way upstairs and find the people up there. You guys find a way out of the house and use it."

I nod. I need to get Kitty out before she has a panic attack.

The others aren't so supportive of the plan. "You're telling us to run away and leave you behind?" asks Red.

"We need help," says the Slayer, taking out a crossbow. "We need the only person who can make sense of what's happening, and that's Giles. Besides, I can't do my job if I'm worried about each of your safeties. Remember what happened on the night we met Juno and Spike?"

"Yeah, I saved you lot from a bunch of demons," I point out. "Granted, they were pretty big demons…"

They ignore me. Naturally.

"It's not your decision!"

"Gotta disagree with you there!"

"Being the Slayer doesn't automatically make you the boss!" Then Red suggests a spell – yeah, like we don't need _more_ magic in this bloody house – and the Slayer says something that's actually pretty hurtful which makes Red storm off with Wolf Boy.

That's when the Slayer finally notices that the Whelp's gone. "Xander?"

"Disappeared right before we found that boy hidin' in the closet," I say. "Dunno where he went. Do you want me to find a way out with Kitty? We can fetch the Watcher."

But then Kitty shakes her head, despite still looking scared out of her wits. "No. I'm a Slayer, too. And a Slayer has to look right in the face of fear head on."

I admire her bravery, but… "I'd prefer it if you're safely out of harm's way with this."

She looks confused. "But you said so yourself; a Slayer is constantly in danger."

"Yeah, but that's when it comes to vampires and demons and fighting," I say. "Magic is something a Slayer can't fight all that well, and it's not something I can protect you from."

"Xander!" Suddenly the Slayer takes off down a hallway. "This is so typical of him!"

"Slayer?" I watch her go and sigh. I suppose that leaves me and Kitty to find a way out on our own. Which is fine. The sooner I get her out of her, the better. "Alright, since she's gone we should-"

I turn and find that Kitty has vanished.

_Nononononono…_

"Kitty?" There's no reply. I look frantically down the three different hallways, but she's nowhere in sight. "Kitty!" The fear within me, planted when she first came back, builds itself up. I can't lose her. Not again. I don't know which hallway to go down; if I choose the wrong one and I don't get there in time…

I hear a scream. It's hers.

"Kitty!" I follow the sound down the first hallway. I've never run so fast in my entire unlife. And yet I'm not fast enough. She screams again – once, twice, three times – and each scream is like a tear through my heart.

Then I turn a corner and freeze.

She's lying there on the floor – in the exact same position I found her in all those years ago. Body broken.

"No…" I run to her and lift her body into my arms. The tears are coming fast and strong. "No, no, no, no… Kitty, please… Not again… Wake up…" I feel for a pulse but it's not there. I can't hear her heartbeat.

She's gone.

And then I realize she's wearing the clothes she wore on the night she died; boy's clothes to hide the fact that she's a girl. And her hair is much longer than the short cut she has in this time. Why would she look like she did back then?

Then I hear her scream again.

I look up. "Kitty?" My gaze returns to the body in my arms and I realize it's just a dummy. It was an illusion all along.

My worst fear.

I drop the dummy and jump to my feet, once again following the screams of my sister.

I find her when I turn another corner; she bumps into me, tears running down her face. She's in such a panic that at first she tries fighting against me, but I keep hold of her and try to calm her down.

"Kitty! Kitty, it's me! It's alright."

She buries her head into my chest and I hold her close, thanking the Powers that she's alive. I place a kiss atop of her head and run my fingers through her hair. I'm probably holding her too tightly, but she doesn't mind and I don't care. I'm just glad she's safe.

"I'm here…I'm here, kitten. It's alright."

"It…it was him," she tells me. "The vampire who…"

Who killed her. She sees him in her nightmares. I've already vowed to kill the bastard if he's not already dust.

"This place is makin' our worst fears come to life," I say. "We need to find the others."

She nods and finally pulls away from me. I gently dry her cheeks before tightly gripping her hand and leading her through the hallways once more.


	10. Chapter Nine: Size

**Buffy**

What is with this creepy house?

Willow and Oz walk away from me, Xander disappears… I'm the one who left Spike and Juno, so I don't blame them. I only hope they've found a way out and are already on their way to Giles. Juno was already scared enough; putting her in this kind of danger doesn't sit well with me.

I can see why Spike's so protective of her.

I make my way down the hallway, and when a floorboard creaks, I turn with my crossbow in front of me. But it's nothing and I continue forwards.

"Help me! Oz!" That sounds like…Willow!

I turn and try to open a door, but it's locked. I listen more closely and realize that her cries are coming from the way I came, so I retrace my steps. I keep following her voice and discover that it's coming from behind another locked door. I kick it open and step inside.

But I fall instead and land hard at the bottom.

I open my eyes and look up at the creaking door. "Basement… I must be in the…basement…" I try and get up, but my body is aching from the fall. I'm _so_ gonna get some nasty bruises out of this, and I just know they're gonna be hard to cover up.

I hear a voice and look towards where it's coming from. "Who said that?"

A frat boy appears. His neck is bent the wrong way; he must've fallen at some point, and yet he's alive – or maybe not so much alive – and standing before me.

"They all ran away from you," he says. "They always will. Open your heart to someone, and they'll trample all over it." He smirks. "But don't fret, little girl. You're not alone…anymore."

Suddenly hands burst out of the ground either side of me and I yelp. The hands grab me; I struggle to pull away from them. The hands become zombies and they try and pull me down with them, and I kick out at them to get away. I'm able to wriggle out of their grasp before I crawl away from them.

The frat boy is still there. "No matter how hard you fight, you'll still end up in the same place. I don't see why you bother."

I keep on crawling and they give chase. I kick one in the face and see a small door leading out. I try and crawl towards it, but the zombies behind me get to their feet and grab me, pulling me back towards them. I turn to try and fight them, but there're too many.

I can't do this alone.

Suddenly I hear a roar, and two of the zombies are thrown from me. Another is pulled away, leaving me to deal with just one. I look up and see that Spike and Juno have arrived to assist me.

Spike takes out the first of his opponents easily enough, and Juno pushes hers into a stack of crates. I kick mine in the head and send him tumbling away, before turning to assist Spike with his last; he punches him towards me, and I kick him back, before Spike sends him soaring into the frat boy.

"You alright, Slayer?" he asks.

I nod. "I'm really sick of this place."

"It's creatin' our worst fears," he tells me. "I imagine it's happenin' to everyone else."

The zombies start to get up again, and we hurry towards the small door. We're able to crawl through it – Juno first with me following, and then Spike after – and once it's shut tight, we turn to discover that we've somehow made it up to the top room.

"There are people here…" Juno points to the various party guests huddled in corners around the room, all terrified.

I recognize one of them. "Oz?"

"Get them off me! Get them off!" Willow suddenly runs into the room, waving her hands around frantically. Oz gets up from where he's huddled when he sees Willow.

"Willow, what's wrong?" I join him in calming Willow down.

She looks around and realizes where she is. "I…I couldn't get them off…"

"It's OK…" Oz pulls her in for a hug. "We're OK."

But I shake my head. "We're _not_ OK. We need to get out of here."

"I'd offer _my_ opinion but you jerks aren't gonna hear it, anyway." I turn to see Xander sat on the couch, rocking back and forwards.

"And the Whelp finally makes an appearance," says Spike.

Xander looks up, wide eyed. "You can see me? You hear me?"

"Oh god…Xander…" If the house is really manifesting our fears like Spike said…

"The house separated us," says Oz.

I nod. "Spike thinks it's using our worst fears against us."

"It don't take much to scare me, but I was pretty fuckin' terrified," he says.

"So what scares _you_, then?" asks Xander.

"Xander." I already know the answer. I can see how tightly he's gripping Juno's hand. "We need to figure this out. We were brought here; we all got so scared that we ended up here. Why?"

"The symbol," says Xander, pointing to it. "Told you it was the symbol."

Juno brings over a book. "Were they copying it out of this?"

He nods while Willow takes it from Juno to have a closer look. "I think it's Gaelic."

"Can you translate?" I ask. Loud, scary voices make us jump. "Wills, give me something."

"I think this is a summoning spell of some kind for something called Gachnar," she explains. "The symbol is the Mark of Gachnar. Somehow the beginning of the spell must have been triggered. I think he's trying to manifest himself; come into being."

"Have you heard of this Gachnar?" I turn to Spike.

He shakes his head. "I usually stay clear of magic unless I need it."

"It says here he feeds on fear, which explains the real-life house of horrors," Willow continues.

"So we need to stop being scared," I say.

"But if we close our eyes and pretend it's a dream, it'll stab us to death," says Xander. "These things are _real_."

"As long as we want them to be," says Spike. "The moment Kitty and I realized that, whatever we saw went away."

I look at the party guests still huddled and terrified. "We need to get people out of here."

The voices get louder, and suddenly one of the doors bursts open. But instead of a fear demon or another manifestation of our fears, it's Giles with a chain saw and looking pissed as hell.

"Hey everyone, it's Giles…with a chainsaw," says Xander, as if that wasn't obvious. Anya – dressed as a bunny for some reason – pushes past Giles and runs to hug Xander.

"The wall closed up behind us," says Giles, putting the chainsaw down. Willow hands him the book. "Ah, I see. Its presence has been able to affect the house, but it hasn't been able to achieve full manifestation. We cannot allow this to come into being."

"But if it does, I can fight it, right?" I ask.

Giles turns a page and shows me a picture of a _very_ ugly looking demon.

"Ugly bloke," says Spike.

"If Gachnar is as powerful as he is hideous, then I doubt you can fight it even with Spike and Juno's help," says Giles. "And he has already managed to cause chaos without fully manifesting; imagine what he can do at full power."

"So we break the spell," I say.

Xander nods. "And whatever we do, we do it fast."

Giles turns another page. "Ah, here we are. The summoning of Gachnar can be reversed in one of two ways. Destroying the Mark of Gachnar-"

Before he can finish I walk over to the painting on the floor and punch through it.

"Uh, Slayer…" Spike is looking over Giles's shoulder and neither of them look happy.

"…is _not_ one of the ways and will in fact bring forth the fear demon itself." Giles gives me one of those disappointed scowls.

OK, so that one's on me.

A blinding light shines through the floor as the demonic cries grow louder, and the entire room begins to shake as the claimed fear demon itself, Gachnar, breaks through the floor, roaring.

Only…he's _tiny_.

"That's…anti-climactic," says Spike. "I feel like I've been overcharged and need my money back."

"Big overture, tiny little show," Xander agrees.

"_That's_ Gachnar?" I can hardly believe it. All that screaming and running in terror was because of _this_ guy?

And then he starts speaking. "I am the dark lord of nightmares! The bringer of terror! Tremble before me! Fear me!" He sounds like what a mouse would sound like if a mouse could talk.

We all look at each other, trying not to laugh. Even Juno is biting her lip to hold back the laughter.

"He's so cute!" says Willow.

"I've seen puppies scarier than that," says Spike.

Giles takes off his glasses. "Buffy, when it comes to slaying-"

"Size doesn't matter?"

The demon glares at me. "They're all gonna abandon you, you know."

"Yeah, yeah." I never thought I'd kill a demon the same way I kill a spider.

* * *

><p>"Some quality treats here, Giles."<p>

"Please, finish them."

We're all sat at Giles's, munching through his big bowl of candy. I feel like a kid again.

"There's no problem that can't be solved by chocolate," I say.

Juno takes a bite of said chocolate…but suddenly spits it back out again. "Uh…I hate to say this…but American chocolate tastes terrible. Do you not have _Cadbury's_ out here?"

"It's expensive," I say.

"Good reason. It tastes ten times as good than this," she says.

"It's like that with a lot of American brands," says Spike. "Beer, tea…"

"And now you realize my misery," says Giles. Suddenly he stands with the book in his hand. "Bloody hell, the inscription… I should've translated the inscription under the illustration." He hands the book to me.

I frown. "Why, what's it say?"

"Actual size."

And Spike bursts out laughing.

* * *

><p>I'm walking home with Spike and Juno to return my costume when I finally bring it up.<p>

"It was her dying again, wasn't it?"

Spike – his eyes never leaving Juno ahead of us – sighs. "'Course it was. Scared me half to death – well, _more_ to death. Then she comes runnin' to me, sayin' she saw the vamp that killed her…"

I nod. Both Spike and Mom have told me that she keeps having nightmares about the night she died, and I really wanna get my hands on the vamp that killed her. Killing a girl like her…

"What was yours?"

I don't really want to tell him, but he told me his – OK, I guessed it, but he confirmed it – so it's only fair. "That I'd be alone, like all the other Slayers before me. Every time I open my heart to someone, I get hurt. It makes me wonder if I'm just meant to be alone."

"The Poof and your old man were stupid to leave you," he tells me. "I can't imagine why they would. You're a hell've a woman, and that's comin' from someone who's s'posed to _hate_ you."

I frown. "_Supposed_ to?"

His eyes widen. "Bugger."

He doesn't hate me anymore. But I find myself smiling because…to be honest, I don't hate him, either. With what he's been doing recently, I really can't find it within me to keep up the hate. Things have changed, and I'm finding that I'm starting to like the changes. "I don't hate you anymore, either."

He smiles, and it's a nice smile. "All I'm tryin' to say, Slayer, is… One day you're gonna meet a boy who treats you the way that you deserve to be treated; like the sun rises and sets with you."

Suddenly I'm scared again – only this time it's because of the fluttering in my heart. I want it to be over his words, but…the gentle smile and the way he's looking at me…

No. I can't go down the vampire route again. And besides, it's still _Spike_.

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes<strong>: Let's play a game. Spike's last words came from a movie. Can you guess which movie?


	11. Chapter Ten: Wild

**Buffy**

"Are the forces of darkness even _trying_ this year?" I ask Spike as he, Juno and I make our way to the Bronze after patrol.

He shrugs. "Wouldn't know, since I'm not in the business of evil anymore. But I agree; these wankers need to put their backs into it."

"I know!" I say. "A slutty vampire and her minions, Harmony and Jonathon, a fear demon the size of a mouse and a bunch of college cave guys. Seriously, is that it?"

Spike chuckles, and I know why. He had a real laugh during the 'cave man' incident and had a hard time taking it seriously. Looking back on it, the whole thing _was_ a little ridiculous despite the danger, and hey, Parker got attacked by a girl he dumped. Karma in action right there.

"These are just the daily occurrences," says Spike. "Things like this happen almost every day in the world. I'm sure some Big Bad will come along soon."

"The yearly Big Bad is usually here by now, or there's at least _some_ indication that he or she is coming," I explain. "It's a pattern; they show up at the beginning of the school year, cause mayhem which gets worse until they try to end the world in the spring. Then we relax all summer until another Big Bad shows up in the autumn. Wash, rinse, repeat."

Juno looks thoughtful. "It sounds like the formula of a television show," she says.

So, what? We're nothing but characters in some TV show playing in another dimension? It wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's ever happened.

We arrive at the Bronze and sit down with Willow, Xander and Oz, who are talking about college life and being older than everyone else in the club.

"Curfew-free nights," Oz lists.

"Dating prospects that find townies sexy _and_ dangerous," says Xander. We all just stare at him. "What, I can dream?"

"Do you not already have a girlfriend?" asks Juno. "What was her name again?"

"Anya," says Xander. "She's having one of her 'I'm-not-interested-in-you-even-though-I-can't-stop-thinking-about-you' phases."

I roll my eyes. I want Xander to be happy, but his relationship with that ex-demon is just plain weird. "So if college is so great, what are we doing here and why is it more fun?"

Willow answers, "Because the Bronze is nice and familiar. It's like a big comfy blanky."

"I was under the impression that _I_ was your big comfy blanky," says Oz.

Spike teasingly covers Juno's ears. "Keep in the bedroom, lovebirds. There's a minor here."

Juno giggles as she wriggles away from the vampire's hands. "Willie, I know what they mean. I _have_ taken sex education back at school. Remember in England I'm one year away from becoming the legal age of consent."

"If things work out like I plan, you'll be a virgin for eternity."

I never really noticed before how well the 'Big-Protective-Brother' thing suits Spike.

Willow brings us back to the topic by saying, "With all the shock and new things, it's nice to have a place we can come back to which is familiar. Where everything's predictable."

"Hello, all." And there's Giles, standing by our table as if he's meant to be there.

OK, it's official. The world's ending.

"Giles, trouble?" I start to get up, as does Spike, while Juno just looks between us in confusion.

He shakes his head. "Oh! No, no. Don't get up. I just thought I'd…um…stop by." He really couldn't look more out of place if he tried. "Latte, anyone? On me?"

"Real party animal," says Spike. "Just so you all know, not all Brits are as stuffy and secluded as this."

Juno adds to that, "You should see our riots." Her attempt at humour is…actually a lot better than Xander's, and I laugh.

Giles isn't impressed. "Yes, yes, alright." He grabs a stool and pulls it over to sit with us. It only then occurs to me that we're the usual weird group you would see in pretty much every club you walk into; the friends who look like they shouldn't be friends at all, they're so mix-and-match.

"So much for your 'comfy blanket' theory, Wills," I say.

And then Giles has to say, "It's been a long time since I've been to a gig," and Spike bursts out laughing, which gets us all laughing. "Oh, don't be like that. I'm…down with all the new music."

"Sure, and you're really convincin' us with all your 'hip' speak," says Spike, and we try not to laugh again.

"I am, and I have the albums to prove it," Giles insists.

"Yes, and it's your cutting edge A-tracks that keep you ahead of the scene," I can't help but say.

"Don't scoff, guys," says Oz. "I've seen Giles's collection; he was an animal in his day."

"Thank you."

"As much as I like teasin' you, mate, I have to agree," says Spike.

Then the band starts playing up – some band called _Shy_ with this girl Veruca as the lead singer – and we all turn to watch. I see that Oz is getting too distracted by her and isn't paying attention to Willow, so I ask, "Oz? When are the _Dingoes_ playing?"

"Oh, we're up next Friday." And then he turns back to Veruca and continues watching.

Instead of watching the band, I watch the reactions of my friends. Willow keeps trying to get Oz's attention, who is the most mesmerized by the performance, but he's not the only one. Giles and Xander also seem fixated on the girl, and even Juno can't seem to keep her eyes off her.

Then I see Spike's expression; he's frowning, as if trying to place something in his mind, and he keeps sniffing the air. Weird vampire thing. But then he turns to me and I see that he suspects something; something to do with Veruca.

Looking at the others again, I agree with him. Something's not right.

* * *

><p>He doesn't say anything until the next night, when we're walking to the crypt where Oz plans on locking himself up during his werewolf transformation. With Willow studying for a class the next day while also worried about Oz's new closeness to Veruca, she couldn't come to keep an eye on him. So Spike volunteered to watch him while I take Juno out on patrol.<p>

I don't question his willingness to help. I've just come to accept that this is who Spike is now, and the more the merrier if you ask me.

"Something's off 'bout that girl," he says. "I can't put my finger on it."

"Don't you mean you can't put your nose on it?"

He smirks. "Very funny, Slayer. There was somethin' in the air when she performed. We best keep an eye on her."

I nod. "I guess Willow was right. I thought it was jealousy, but if _you're_ saying something's up…"

"Red needs to reign in that green-eyed monster of hers," says Spike. "Yeah, there's probably somethin' up, but jealousy doesn't equal a happy relationship. You need to tell her that."

"I'll try."

We arrive at the crypt, but Juno and I don't venture inside; we can already here Oz's growls and howls, and neither me nor Spike want the younger Slayer to get frightened. She'll have to see Oz in his wolf form eventually, but for now, it's better for her to keep seeing him as the calm, approachable boy he is during the day.

Once Spike is inside, I lead Juno to a quieter part of the college campus where I recall seeing a group of fledgling vamps I know she can take without much effort. Think Harmony only ten times weaker and ten times more stupid, if that's even possible.

But when we get there, we hear a cry for help and it sounds a lot like…

"Professor Walsh!" I take off running with Juno behind me.

I see the Professor being chased by…a werewolf? Oz? I hesitate for only a moment before springing into action. Walsh throws her brief case at the werewolf, but that doesn't even slow it down.

"Professor!" I cry out, before tackling her into the safety of the bushes. I look behind me and see the werewolf about to leap after us, but then Juno gets between us and kicks the werewolf in the face. It turns and runs, and she chases after it.

"Are you alright?" I climb off Professor Walsh before holding out a hand to help her up.

She takes it. "What was that thing?"

"I don't know," I lie. "Probably a stray dog, or something. Shall I call animal control?"

"Yes. Please do." She nods quickly before gathering her briefcase and leaving in a hurry. I don't blame her. I see her take out a phone of some kind and assume she's calling for a ride; wise move.

Knowing she'll be safe, I can focus on finding Juno and the werewolf. I hurry into the bushes.

"Juno?"

"Buffy!"

Her yell is distant and yet close. I start running, knowing that Spike will kill me if anything happens to his sister – and honestly, I wouldn't blame him if he did. I also know that Oz would never forgive himself and would probably stand still for Spike, too.

I keep running, but as I turn a corner I bump into someone. A…commando? He's dressed like those guys we saw on Halloween, but it's not Halloween anymore. What's he doing out here? I see that he's heavily armed, but before I can ask him who he is, he takes off at a run.

I hear Juno's call for help again and decide to leave the commando to his own devices.

As I get closer to the fight I hear the growls of the werewolf, but just when I'm about to jump through the bushes into the clearing, I hear a yelp.

I can do nothing but stare when I finally see the cause of the yelp.

The werewolf lies motionless on the grass, and I see the blood pouring out of a wound to its neck. Next to it I see a bloodied stake, abandoned, and then I bring myself to look at Juno who sits panting, wide-eyed, and staring in shock at the werewolf.

"I…I didn't have a… He tried to…but it's Oz…and he was…"

And suddenly I'm back a year into the past, and I see Faith staring at the lifeless body of the Deputy Mayor.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Shades

**Buffy**

"Juno…" I cautiously approach her as I don't want to startle her. She can't run now. If she comes face to face with a vampire in this state, she'll surely die. "Juno, it's OK…"

"I killed him!" I watch as floods of tears run down her face. "He was an innocent boy! He was nice to me, and he was becoming my friend, and I killed him! And Willow…"

I kneel down next to her and wrap her up in my arms. I really don't know what to say, because all I can think about is how devastated Willow will be when she finds out, and how things will never be the same again…

But then I take a closer look at the werewolf. Its fur is a creamy-white colour, and the last time I checked, Oz's fur was grey-brown. I pull away from Juno and turn the wolf over, and that's when I see a vital missing piece of biology.

"This isn't Oz," I say. "This werewolf is female. Juno, you didn't kill Oz."

I can see the relief in her eyes, but there's still pain. She's still crying, and I know why. "But…she was still a person, and I…"

I hug her again. "You were defending yourself. It's OK. This werewolf could have killed you _and_ Professor Walsh. You were…only doing your duty."

"But at what cost?" she asks. "This girl may have locked herself up in a cage like Oz; it's not her fault she broke out. Or she may not have even known she was a werewolf. Her family will never know how she died…and neither will she…"

I pull back again and dry her eyes. "Juno… Let's go to Spike. He'll…he'll help." I've already seen him comfort Juno after a nightmare or a bad night slaying. He's better at it than me. Ironic, considering he's a vampire.

I pick up the body and sling it over my shoulder, knowing I can't leave it out in the open. We slowly make our way back to the crypt. I keep looking at Juno; she continues to look shaken for the duration of the walk, and I don't blame her. There are casualties in slaying – I've learnt that the hard way – and while it's something you have to live with, it's still hard. The only comfort I have is that Juno isn't pulling a 'Faith' in denying that it happened and closing in on herself.

I can't see another Slayer go down that road again – especially a girl like Juno.

As we near the crypt I hear the growls and howls of Oz, confirming what we already know; that Oz is still alive and the dead werewolf is someone else. I also hear Spike swearing repeatedly, and despite the bad situation, I can't help but smirk.

We walk into the crypt and see Spike moving a slab of concrete in front of the cage door. "There. That'll keep you in." The werewolf just snarls at him.

Juno gasps, and Spike turns to us. It only takes a second – a look between me carrying the dead werewolf and Juno's teary eyes – for him to figure out that something's gone downhill, and he crosses the room in two great strides to encircle Juno in his arms.

Juno buries her face into his chest. "She's dead…she's dead…"

"It's alright, sweetheart. It's alright." He strokes his sister's hair soothingly before looking at me. "What happened?"

I dump the body on the floor. "Another werewolf. Female. It attacked my Psych Professor. While I was getting her to safety, Juno chased the wolf away. She was…forced to kill it."

Still keeping an arm around Juno, Spike walks up to the dead werewolf in order to take a closer look. Juno is reluctant, not wanting to get too close to the thing she killed, and Spike gets the message; he lets her go before kneeling next to the body. His eyes widen in recognition.

"That bitch."

"Yes, Spike. I'm pretty sure that's what we call girl dogs," I say.

He shakes his head. "No. I know who this is. It's that Veruca bint from the Bronze."

"The girl who was hitting on Oz?" And suddenly it makes sense. Could she have sensed that Oz is a werewolf, too? And for that matter, did Oz sense the same thing about her?

"That's what I could smell in the Bronze," Spike explains. "It was her pheromones. She's in heat. Can smell it even now. It reeks. And she was doin' more than just hittin' on him, Slayer. She was tryin' to reel him in so they could mate."

"Mate?" I shake my head. "No. She can't just steal someone else's guy."

"Normal girls do it," he says. "She was doin' it purposely, alright. If she wasn't then only Wolf Boy would've been affected, but every git in the bleedin' buildin' was droolin' all over her. Mighty good cover for what she was doin'. Good thing vamps aren't affected."

Wow. Spike was right. She really _is_ a bitch, and not just in the girl dog sense. "So she just broke out of her cage tonight?"

Spike rolls his eyes. "Were you even listenin' to a word I was sayin'? She wouldn't go through all that trouble of reelin' in Wolf Boy and then spend the night of the full moon locked up in a cage. She was lookin' for him."

Realization dawns on me. "Which means…"

"She didn't even _try_ to lock herself up tonight," says Spike. "And if she's the kind of werewolf I'm thinkin' of, she probably hasn't locked herself up for a long old time."

"But…" Juno's still distressed and her eyes are still wet. "But…she was still a person…"

Spike kneels down to her eye level and places his hands on both her arms. "Kitty, listen to me. You're a Slayer, right? And a Slayer's duty is to protect the innocent from the things that go bump in the night. Whether we like it or not, that girl was a danger to the populace; if you'd let her go, she could've gone and killed someone. Or worse, she could've come after Wolf Boy which would've ended in a full blown cat fight – or rather, wolf fight. Sometimes accidents happen, and sometimes we can't save everyone – and yes, it's completely normal to feel like this after an accident has happened. But please, don't waste yourself over some bitch who was tryin' to get it on with a boy who was never even hers."

He hugs her again, and I can't help but smile.

* * *

><p>We tell the others the next morning. Oz admits that he sensed something off about Veruca, but also admits that he didn't know she was a werewolf, which I believe. He's not one to lie about these things. I'm just glad that things between him and Willow can go back to normal.<p>

Veruca's body turns back to normal once the sun is up, and after removing any evidence – finger prints, blood, the usual – we're able to report her body and turn her in. Investigation reveals the attack to be 'inconclusive', just like pretty much every death in Sunnydale. Seriously, when are these people gonna learn that 'neck trauma' means 'vampire'?

Selective memory. Sheesh.

When things have quietened down, Oz and I decide to question Veruca's band members in case one of them knows something. I'm still troubled by Spike's observation that Veruca probably never made a habit of locking herself up, and while I can believe it on that particular night – otherwise that whole 'mating call' thing she did to attract Oz wouldn't have made any sense – I can't bring myself to believe that she would do it on other nights. Did she even give any thought to the innocent people out there?

A guitarist is willing to talk, and we sit down with him outside.

"It was scary sometimes, knowing what she could do," he says. "She gave us a warning whenever it was the full moon. We needed to lock our bedrooms, our windows, stay inside… I tried telling other people to do the same, but they looked at me like I'm crazy."

"So she did this every full moon?" I ask, unable to believe what I'm hearing.

He nods. "There was this other guy in the band… He tried to stop her one night. He…" The guitarist looks down, and he doesn't have to finish. I don't have to guess to know what happened to that other guy.

"Why did she do this?" asks Oz. I can tell that he's shaken. "Why did she let herself go out? Didn't she care about the people she killed?"

"She thought it was her birth right; her nature," says the boy. "The animal within, she called it. That whole 'Call of the Wild' crap. I still think she was crazy; totally lost it." He looks at Oz. "What you do is right; locking yourself up. You keep your humanity. I think Veruca lost hers a long time ago. She may have looked like a human, acted like one, talked like one…but underneath, she was all wolf."

* * *

><p>I tell Giles before Spike, Juno and I head out on patrol. I'm hoping that it will put Juno somewhat at ease knowing that she probably saved countless other lives in putting Veruca down. I know my thoughts on killing humans, but…<p>

I can't get over what Veruca was like. She was still a human – albeit not entirely human and probably far more werewolf like the guitarist said – and yet she didn't care about the lives she took every night.

"It's…unnerving," I say. "I slay demons because most demons are bad. I protect humans because we're supposed to be good, and yet… I know she wasn't entire human, but…"

Spike's eyebrow rises. "Don't go into this 'black and white' rot. The world is made up of shades of grey. It's mostly made up of bad demons and good humans, but there're also good demons and bad people. The soul doesn't mean squat."

"But Angel…"

"Did you over good and proper," Spike continues. "The soul doesn't mean a thing. If it did – if it was some kind of miracle conscious which keeps people from doin' bad things – then every single human on this planet would be a bleedin' saint."

I don't say anything in response. Angel and Angelus were always so easy to separate; Angel is good because he has a soul, while Angelus is evil because he doesn't. It's simple and not complicated. But throw in all this grey stuff – Veruca, Spike – and then I can't see that anymore, and I wonder how different Angel and Angelus really are.

In order to stop thinking about it I bring up another topic of discussion: the commando I bumped into when I was trying to get to Juno.

After I tell Giles, he looks thoughtful. I also notice Juno and Spike exchanging glances.

"I'm not sure I understand," says Giles. "This man was in military clothing?"

I nod. "And he had some _serious_ weaponry. The thing is, we saw some guys dressed exactly like him on Halloween night. I just assumed they were in costume."

"But maybe they were working?" suggests Giles.

"I wanna know what's up," I say. "The guy got in my way. Who knows what could've happened to Juno if…" I see Spike flinch and clench his sister's hand. I know better than to continue, else I cause the siblings anymore stress.

"I think I know what they might be up to," Spike says. "On Halloween they kept lookin' at me, and had I not been with you lot…"

"Spike?" Now Giles looks even more interested.

Juno sighs. "I had a Slayer dream. With everything that has been happening, Willie and I forgot about it. But now that it appears to be coming true…"

"What did you see?" I ask.

"More commandos," she replies. "They were capturing demons and taking them to this underground laboratory to experiment on them. They were not making the distinction between harmful demons and harmless ones. They were only treating them like animals. The…things they were doing to them… I feel sorry for even the harmful demons. They were in so much pain…"

"So they're capturing demons?" Usually I would say an extra hand with my duty is a good thing, but if these guys are experimenting on demons and are catching the harmless ones too…

"It was a Nazi idea," says Spike. "Back in the forties, I was caught by them and put in a sub with a load of other vamps. The Nazis wanted to find a way to control vamps in order to win the war. 'Course, the Americans had the same idea, and sent a familiar face to come capture the sub and hand it over to them. They obviously got the info they needed if the experiments are still goin' on. Demons and the military… It's a bloody disaster waitin' to happen."

I draw the same conclusion: the military using vamps and demons as weapons would _not_ be of the good. "So here's this year's Big Bad. How original."

"Who was the familiar face?" asks Juno.

Spike looks at me when he replies, "Angel."

Somehow I knew he was gonna say that. "Was playing the hero even back then, huh?"

"Hardly." He scoffs. "Was pretty reluctant to be there, actually. Oh, and did he tell you he sired a boy on that sub?"

I freeze. "W…what?"

"Everyone was dead or dying," says Spike. "The sub was goin' down. Your boy needed to get the sub back to the Americans, and this Sam bloke was the only one who could fix it and get it movin' again. I suggested we just let the boy die in peace and let the information get destroyed, but Peaches wasn't havin' any of tha'. He sired the boy, shoved me into the bleedin' ocean and delivered the sub before goin' back to his pit to brood for the next couple of decades."

I can't believe it. I know now why Angel never wanted to tell me his past – because he knew I wouldn't like it. I feel…manipulated. Aren't couples supposed to know everything about each other?

"Pit to brood?" is all I can say.

Spike rolls his eyes. "Please, Slayer. You make the Poof out to be a soddin' selfless hero who can do no wrong, and yet before you, he had no interest in savin' the world. He was content to wallow away in self-pity away from the rest of the world and the people who lived in it. The only reason he pulled himself out was because he saw you and decided he wanted to get in your pants. And at the young age you were…" He looks disgusted. "Just imagine a guy like him seein' Kitty and decidin' he wants to bang her. The fact that you were so young and so open to love as blindly as a bat just made things easier for him."

I look at Juno and imagine Angel lusting for her…and the mental image I get is creepy as hell. I never realized just how…wrong it was for Angel to feel things for me at my young age. And as for said young age making it easier for him… I can't help but feel _used_.

I wish Spike would just shut up, but I can't bring myself to tell him that. Because he's right, and I'm starting to realize that my great romance with Angel really wasn't all that great.


	13. Chapter Twelve: Shock

**Spike**

I'm not sure why I told the Slayer about Peaches. I tell myself that while I may not really hate her that much anymore, I still hate the Poof and ruining their once great romance by making the Slayer see the truth is payback enough for what he did to Dru.

But the way I said it… It was like I was more concerned about the Slayer. I can't deny it; I don't want her making a mistake like that again, and not just because I need her around for Kitty. She's what, eighteen? And she really thought she found her true love at such a young age?

More to it, the Poof let her believe that, and he should know better. Next time I see him, I might hit him just for the sake of it. I've seen him ruin enough girls' lives, Dru's in particular, and the thought of him ruining the life of the Slayer just rubs me the wrong way.

And that's why I told her; because if she doesn't see how much of a dick he is now and realize that their love wasn't all that great to begin with, she'll never let herself love anyone else again.

And that Parker wanker probably didn't help matters at all.

I shove my thoughts to the back of my head. Now's not the time to be thinking about any of that; not when I should be on the lookout for anything that might like to take a bite out of Kitty. She walks alongside me, a stake in her hand as her eyes scan the area for any signs of the undead. She's been getting better, despite the mild set-back with that werewolf bitch.

It's nice on a night like this, when it's just the two of us patrolling. Not that I don't like it when the Slayer is with us; I actually enjoy fighting alongside someone of equal strength and skill. But it's good to have some sibling time to ourselves without the Slayer either complaining about college work piling up or her lack of a love life.

No, I can't think about that again…

Suddenly Kitty stops and looks around. I stop to and expand my senses; I can't sense any vamps close or any demons, but I can smell and hear humans. Probably some frat boys out getting pissed. The college life has really gone downhill since I went to Oxford.

"What's up, pet?" I ask.

She bites her lip. "I don't know. My Slayer senses are warning me about something, but I can't sense any demons around except for you."

"Same with me." I look around as casually as I can in case the danger is watching us, whatever it may be. "Somethin's not right. Try honin' in on the danger a bit more; maybe it can give you a general direction."

She nods before closing her eyes. Then her eyes open and she looks over my shoulder as something flashes in her eyes; that Slayer instinct, only a twitch but if you know what to look for like I do, it's as sharp as a stake. Then those same eyes widen, and with a sudden cry of, "Willie!" she pushes me aside.

It all happens so fast. As I fall to the ground I feel a sudden blast of electricity flash past me, missing me by mere inches. I would have been hit had it not been for Kitty's super-Slayer reflexes.

Kitty… The moment I hit the ground I look up at her, and if my heart hadn't already stopped upon the moment of my death, then it would have stopped now.

The bolt of electricity hits Kitty, and she spasms with a scream before collapsing to the ground, unconscious.

My demon face slides into place instinctively. With a growl I turn in the direction where the bolt had come from; it's one of those commandos, and in his hands I see a Taser. He's staring at Kitty in shock; he's wearing a mask to hide his expression, but his body is rigid and he barely responds to my growl. When he finally does he turns his gaze to me.

That's the moment when I strike.

With a roar I leap to my feet before grabbing his shirt and throwing him against a tree. I turn to see two others approaching, both wielding Tasers of their own, but that doesn't concern me. Even if they shoot me, I doubt it'll slow me down. My rage is too great.

I grab the second by his arm and yank it out of his socket, before I twist his wrist and slam him into the dirt. The third – terrified out of his wits from the smell of him – freezes up, and I grab his shoulders before my knee collides with the area where the sun doesn't shine. He cries out and collapses to his knees, and I give him a good kick to make sure he stays down. I hear one or two ribs crack.

I look over at the first guy and see him crawling towards Kitty. I storm towards him and slam my foot into his face, only pulling back at the last minute. Since his mask is protecting most of his face, he's gonna have a nasty but embarrassing mark in the morning; parts of a boot mark in two corners of his face with the rest untouched.

I don't care. He hurt Kitty. If I didn't have a truce with the Slayer, he and his mates would be dead.

When I'm certain they're down for the count, I turn my attention back to Kitty. I slip out of my demon face and check her pulse; she's fine. Her Slayer healing is already working its wonders. I can still feel some traces of electricity within her, and I try to ignore the knowledge that had she been an ordinary human, that shock could've killed her.

Never thought I'd say this, but thank god she's a Slayer.

I cradle her in my arms as I hurry away from the commandos. If more show up, I won't be able to protect her. My first thought is to find Buffy, but then I remember the reason why she didn't join us in the first place; she, Red and Wolf Boy are attending a party, and showing up with an unconscious Kitty wouldn't be the best idea.

So I make for the Watcher's place. I've never run so fast in my unlife.

Running while keeping one ear out for more commandos with the other monitoring Kitty's heartbeat is harder than I thought, but I manage it. When I reach the Watcher's place I kick in the door – which in hindsight, probably wasn't the best idea.

The Watcher, the Whelp, Red and Wolf Boy are inside, and they all jump to their feet with weapons before they can even realize it's me. But when they do their eyes widen in shock at the sight of Kitty in my arms.

"Oh my god, Juno!" cries Red. A hand flies to her mouth.

"Good lord! What happened?" The Watcher moves away from the sofa so I can lie her down.

I try not to growl as I reply. "Those commando wankers attacked us. Think they were aimin' for me, but Kitty pushed me outta the way. My brave, sweet girl." I really can't be mad at her for doing what she did. A Slayer's duty is to protect people, and all she was doing was protecting me.

I'm not angry at her – just the wankers who did this to her.

"We'll get Buffy." Red and Wolf Boy hurry out the door, and only then does it register that they're here instead of at a party.

"Thought they were at a party with the Slayer," I say.

"They were," says the Watcher. "But then Xander encountered Harmony and she told him that Jonathon was out for blood. She wanted to find him before he could cause any more trouble."

I nod and turn my attention back to Kitty. She still isn't waking up, but her breathing and heart rate is still good, so I don't worry – anymore than I already am, at least.

"What happened to her?" asks the Whelp. "Did they hit her?"

"With a Taser," I say. "They could've killed her had she been a human. Did the wankers even _think_ about the consequences? No they didn't. They didn't ask questions; they probably just took one look and me and decided I was a threat."

"Did you kill them?" asks the Watcher. I get why; with how angry I probably look, it's a legitimate question.

I shake my head. "No. Probably put 'em in the hospital, though."

"That I do not blame you for." I see a dark look cross his face, and I know what he's thinking. Had this happened to _his_ Slayer, he would've unleashed some violence of his own.

It's instinct. Someone you care about gets hurt, you bite back.

Ten minutes later the door opens and the Slayer hurries in with Red and Wolf Boy behind her. "Juno! Spike, what happened?! Oh god!" Her eyes widen when she spots Kitty lying on the couch.

"Commandos. They got her with a Taser. Were aimin' for me but she pushed me outta the way," I repeat, stroking my sister's hair. "Before you ask, I didn't kill them. Gave 'em some war wounds, though."

"As long as it's nothing fatal, I can live with that." She stares at Kitty with wide eyes, and while it's mostly from shock I can see the anger behind them. The same anger I'm feeling right now. "They could've killed her."

"I know," I say. "They didn't mean to hit her; the one who did it was shocked tha' she jumped in the way. But…"

"But what?" The Slayer gives me a questioning look.

"Think about it, Slayer," I explain. "Whoever these wankers are, they're not askin' questions. They see a vamp or a demon and they take it down, whether it's harmful or not. What d'you think they'd do if they saw either you or Kitty in action and decide that you're demons, too?"

I leave the question hanging, because I don't need an answer. Their wide eyes of realization are enough.

"I don't care if they're hunting demons," says the Slayer. "We need to find out who these guys are and they need to be stopped."

Everyone is in silent agreement. Even the Whelp – who had already made it clear that he saw nothing wrong with what the commandos are doing – nodded. Most likely shaken at the thought of his best friend being taken.

And that's when Kitty wakes up, moaning in pain. "Willie…"

I grip her hand tightly to assure her. "'S alright, kitten. I'm here. You're safe now."


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Him

**Buffy**

Parties are good. Parties are excuses for me to take the night off and pretend I'm just a normal girl instead of the Slayer. And while my other life has a nasty habit of following me to parties, I'm hoping it won't be the case this time.

Spike and Juno have already assured me that they can handle patrol. Another perk to having them around; I don't have to worry about the Hellmouth being unprotected whenever I want to take the night off. I'll still go out later for a quick sweep, but at least most of the threats will be gone.

I arrive at the party with Willow and Oz, but before we go inside Willow pulls me aside. "I almost forgot, Buffy. There's this…guy…"

"Who wants to date me and you may or may not have given him the go ahead," I finish for her.

She cringes. "It's Riley. You know, the TA from Psych?"

Riley. He's kind of cute, and he seems nice. "But isn't there rules about TAs dating students?"

"I think that's only for teachers," says Willow. "He found me today and told me that he likes you. You know, in an 'I have a crush' kind of way. He was asking me about what you like, and then my mind went blank and all I could tell him is that you like cheese. So…"

"I should give him a chance?" I say. "I don't know, Wills; I think it's a little too soon after Parker."

"But Riley's not Parker. Trust me, I made sure. I gave him the resolve face."

I smile. "I'm sure he's a nice guy, but… Spike told me something the other day. The reason I end up getting my heart broken is because I meet a guy and I rush in too fast. If I had taken my time with both Angel and Parker, then things may have worked out better. I could've asked questions about Angel's curse, and we wouldn't have slept together. And while I dodged Parker, I could've dodged him a lot sooner if I had taken things slower with him and realized what he was trying to pull."

"You can take things slow with Riley," says Willow. "I'm sure he won't mind."

I shrug. "I just want to have some time to breathe before I get involved with someone else. I'll talk to Riley and see how things go, but don't expect me to be calling him my boyfriend anytime soon."

"Fair enough."

We go inside and meet back up with Oz, and when I venture over to the snack table Riley approaches me with an awkward smile which is followed by an awkward conversation.

I can see that he likes me, and that he's trying. It's kind of sweet and from a certain angle I can call him a hottie, but what hits me is the feeling that maybe he's trying _too_ hard. Like he knows we don't have much in common and he's trying to find something to talk about but is trying too hard to find it. Shouldn't relationships flow naturally? If you're trying too hard, isn't that a good indicator that something's not right and it won't work out? Riley doesn't really feel right, nice guy that he is, and I don't want to push things just because I want to find love again.

He backs down and lets me dance with some other guys, but then he approaches me again and I start to panic. He really does seem nice and he's really trying, and I don't want to turn him down and give him the 'unhappy' face.

Thankfully Xander shows up and tells me that Jonathon is on the loose, and for once in my life, I'm glad that my duty has once again interrupted my night out.

* * *

><p>I'm waiting on the park bench for Jonathon to show up – he's after me according to what Harmony told Xander – when Riley walks over. I'm surprised that he doesn't question me about the stake I raise in his direction.<p>

"Riley! What are you doing here?" If he sees Jonathon in vamp face – or any vamp for that matter – then my cover as just a normal girl will be blown, and he'll be running for the hills just like Angel.

True, I'm not really that interest in him, but it's the principle of the point.

"Well, I didn't get a chance to say 'goodbye' to you at the party," he says. "You left so fast with your friend…who's a boy."

"Xander?" Is he jealous? And is he really using a condescending tone with me, like I was somehow leading him on? OK, not such a nice guy, after all. "He's not a friend…in that way. Just a friend. He even has a girlfriend of his own…which is not something I'd like to talk about right now." I look around, expecting to see Jonathon running towards me at any second…

"So he's not anyone…?"

I interrupt. "You know, I don't want you taking this the wrong way, it's just, um… I need a little alone time now. Alone." If he's a nice guy, he should understand that, right? Nice guys respect that girls need their privacy.

"Why?" he asks. Is he still using the condescending tone? Seriously?

I hesitate. "I need space."

"We're outdoors."

"Emotionally." How is he not getting the hint?

"You know, there's plenty of space back in your room," he says. "Why don't I take you? You won't believe the weirdoes out at this hour."

He reaches out for my waist, and… Oh my god, is he trying to get me to sleep with him? I've barely shown any interest in him, and already he's offering to come with me back to my room _and_ he's trying to put his arm around me?

His 'nice guy' look is fading fast.

I jump away from him. "Whoa! OK!" A look of hurt crosses his face, and I can't help but feel guilty so I smile. "It's a…free campus. Who died and made _you_ John Wayne?"

"I'm just trying to help you."

"Do you think I need help? Believe me, I don't." And I'll prove it to him if he sticks around long enough and Jonathon shows up… I take a seat back on the bench. "You know, if you were a _real_ gentleman you would just leave and go far, far away. Now. Shoo."

"Are you drunk?"

"Yes, go and report me." God, why did I say that?

"I'm taking you home." He goes to grab me but I push him off, trying not to use too much Slayer strength.

"What's with you?" I demand. "Do you just think that boys can take care of themselves but girls need help?"

"Yeah."

OK, he's officially off my 'guys I can potentially date' list. It's just the way he said it; that it was the easiest question in the world to answer. If that's what he really thinks about girls, then what's he gonna say if he ever finds out that I'm the Slayer and I'll be saving _him_ instead of the other way around?

Before we can say anything more, a girl screams in the distance and we both hurry away. Only when I get there, I discover that the girl in question is just the victim of a frat boy prank. So I continue looking for Jonathon.

When I think that this evening can't get any worse, I see Willow and Oz hurrying towards me.

"Buffy, it's Juno."

* * *

><p>I can't think about anything else other than seeing Juno lying unconscious on the couch. Not even my classes can distract me.<p>

Seeing her there, weak and in pain… I was shocked, but more than that, I was angry at those commandos. Sure, they were aiming for Spike, but they still hit her. Not to mention that they didn't even consider the fact that Spike's pretty much harmless now, if only to innocents, which is all that matters.

And then what Spike said… It scares me, that these guys may take one look at me and think I'm a demon just because I'm stronger than the average girl. It scares me because unlike the harmful demons, they don't have a logical reason for all this. They don't have any reason at all. They see, they take; nothing more, nothing less.

What are humans without our compassion, or our ability to tell the difference between what's good and what's bad? These guys could take me – worse, they could take Juno – for experimentation without any regrets or any hesitation, and that's what truly scares me.

"Buffy!"

I hear Riley's voice and turn…before I freeze.

He's sat at a table with two other TAs, but it's their battered bodies that shock me. Forrest's arm is in a sling and there's a bump on his head, and Graham is holding his chest in pain where I see a bandage wrapped around it, plus his legs are crossed which means someone's kicked him in a place he wouldn't rather be kicked.

And Riley… His face is a mess. It's covered in bruises, but what stands out is the foot mark on his face – or part of one. It covers the lower left hand corner and the upper right hand corner, but the space in the middle of his face is untouched.

Like a mask was protecting him.

I remember Spike's description of the injuries he inflicted and it hits me. The TAs are the commandos. Riley's a commando.

Riley could've killed Juno.

"I'm sorry about last night," he tells me.

Are you really? Are you sorry that you could've killed my sister Slayer? "You… What happened to you?"

"Got in a fight. Nothing I couldn't handle," he says. "You should have let me walk you home. There's a lot of…strange people out there."

I know what kind of things are out there. One of them's become my friend, and Riley tried to take him in without any thought of what he was doing. "And yet _I'm_ the one who's fine and _you're_ the one who looks like you go to Fight Club after class."

"Are you OK?" He reaches out towards me but I take a step back to avoid him. "Buffy?"

I'm scared to be around him. While it's impossible because of all the people around – plus it's daylight, and he's all with the injuries – part of me is afraid that he'll suddenly take out a Taser from behind his back and shoot me with it, and then when I wake up I'll be strapped to a table with scientists cutting me open…

I have to get away from him. "I…I have class. I'll…see you in Psych."

I try not to run, even though every alarm bell in my brain is telling me that I should.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Thanks

**Buffy**

As much as I've come to enjoy slaying with Spike and Juno, it's nice to get back to basics and go out on my own.

I don't blame them for not coming out. Juno's still freaked about the commando attack and Spike won't let her out of the house during the _day_, let alone at night. Knight Templar much, but I can't blame him. I wonder if he'll ever let her out of the house again.

I trail a frat boy who's a little older than he looks – judging by his comment that things were great before I showed up – and after a fight Juno could've easily handled, I stake him.

His ashes are barely blowing in the wind when my Slayer senses go off again, and I turn in time to see Jonathon leaping out of the bushes. I sigh. I thought he'd gone after the incident over a week ago, seeing as he hasn't bothered to make an appearance despite being out for 'my blood'.

Apparently not. This should be an easy staking…despite the unsettling feeling that comes to me every time I have to stake someone I know…

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

He doesn't seem to hear me. "OK, let's try this again. Maybe it works for Slayers." He runs at me suddenly in his game face. I raise my stake ready, but when he's just steps away from me, he suddenly pulls back with an agonizing cry. "OW! No! This isn't happening to me!"

I blink. "What? I didn't do anything? Why are you all with the ouchies?"

He ignores me again and takes off running, and I can't bring myself to go after him. The attack was kind of pathetic; I can't imagine even _normal_ people falling victim to him.

When I'm about to move on I feel something; a vamp close by, but I can't pick up on it. I think for a moment it's Jonathon again, but this vamp feels…different somehow. It's not Spike; he wouldn't leave Juno alone in the house, since Mom's not there.

The feeling fades and I go back to patrolling.

* * *

><p>After watching Xander look like an idiot at his new job, Willow and I stop by the house to check up on Juno and Spike. I have to make sure they – and by 'they' I mean Spike – aren't making a mess while Mom's out of town.<p>

When we tell them about Xander, Spike laughs. "Why am I not surprised tha' _he_ was the one fallin' in the ruins of… What did you say it was again?"

"The old Sunnydale Mission," says Willow. "I heard some of the Professors talking about it; they're really excited. Everyone thought it was lost."

"And he just happened to be the unlucky sod to find it," says Spike.

I have to agree with the point Spike's hinting at; everything always seems to happen to Xander, one way or another. It's like he's a magnet for supernatural trouble. Shouldn't I be the supernatural-trouble magnet?

"A lost Mission," I say. "I mean, a hairbrush I can understand," I turn to Willow, "and by the way I _will_ find that and get it back to you – but how can you lose a Mission?"

"Huge earthquake in 1812," says Willow. "Everyone just assumed that the Mission was levelled. Instead they built right over it. It's like what happened in the 30s, with that church the Master was in."

Spike laughs again. "I had my own party when tha' happened. By the way, forgot to thank you for killin' 'im, Slayer. Couldn't stand Batface at all."

"The Master?" asks Juno.

I really need to sit her down at some point and tell her everything that happened in Sunnydale. "This really old, ugly vampire I killed not long after I moved here. A relative of Spike."

"My great-great-grandsire," says Spike. "Somethin' I'd rather forget. How were your midterms, by the by?"

"All done," I say. "Everyone's going home – including the you-know-whos, so you guys can patrol again, at least for the holidays."

Juno looks hesitant while Spike rubs her shoulder. "Only if she wants to," he says.

"A lot of moms will be welcoming baskets of dirty laundry," says Willow, and it reminds me of a few days ago when Mom announced that she was going out of town. It makes me feel…empty.

And I don't like feeling empty. An idea hits me. "You know what? I should have my own Thanksgiving. I can cook the meal just like Mom does and have all of you guys over; it'll be great."

It makes Juno smile again. "I've never had a Thanksgiving before," she says. "All we have is half term at the end of October. Oh, and there's bonfire night on the 5th of November. And when I was little, Mum and Dad used to take me to church for the harvest assembly. But…we stopped going after Mum died."

"Bonfire night?" I ask.

"It's to remember the time when a bloke named Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament a couple of centuries back," Spike explains. "We make a dummy of him, put him on a huge bonfire and let off fireworks."

"Celebrating the day a guy tried to kill people," I say. "You English have weird holidays."

"'S no different from your Thanksgivin'," says Spike.

Willow nods. "He's right. Buffy, I thought you agreed with me. Thanksgiving is a sham; it's all about death."

But I won't be moved. "It _is_ a sham. But…it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham!"

Spike chuckles. At least someone finds it funny. "Celebrating the death and destruction of an entire culture. I'm in!" I roll my eyes.

"I can see your point," says Juno, "but I've never seen a Thanksgiving before."

"See, Wills? We can teach Juno all about it," I say. "I'll teach her about the food while you can teach her about the miserable history behind it. And I'm pretty sure Oz isn't doing anything with his family."

"Don't bribe me with my boyfriend." She pretends to give me the resolve face.

"But it's like Professor Walsh was saying about sense memory," I say. "I smell a roasting turkey, and I'm eight years old. I'd like to have a night to look forward to, because everything's different now. I want something to stay the same, and Thanksgiving can be that something."

I see the moment Willow gives in before she says, "There can be slight yams."

"We can have everyone," I continue.

"The Watcher won't be doin' much, bein' a fellow Brit and all," says Spike with a shrug.

I nod. "And Xander always makes a point of avoiding all of his family gatherings."

"Ooh! And we can _not_ invite Anya!"

"Hey, I'm not bein' the only demon there. True, she's not an actual demon anymore…"

"And she and Xander seem pretty tight lately," I remind Willow, trying to forget everything the ex-demon said back at the building site. "Pilgrims aside, isn't that the whole point of Thanksgiving? Everyone has a place to go?"

* * *

><p>It's just typical of my life. I wanna do something for myself, and only then does the Slayer gig rear its ugly head and make itself heard; like a constant reminder that I'll never have a normal life no matter how hard I try.<p>

I'll never get used to that – just like I'll never get used to seeing people alive and well before seeing them dead on the news the next day.

I go to the cultural centre with Willow, Spike and Juno. With most of the commandos gone, Juno's a little braver about going out. It's not even a patrol; just an investigation, which is something she needs to get used to. She was OK to go once I assured her that the body of the woman had been removed. Although Willow's talk about spells that include ears doesn't really make things any better.

When we discover that a Chumash knife is missing, I go to Giles and ask him to research the Chumash people, which he agrees to. I notice that he's a little on edge, and I get that same familiar vamp feeling from the other night, but I ignore it and head back out again.

I meet up with Willow and Spike outside the Espresso Pump. "Where's Juno?"

"Back at your mum's with Wolf Boy," says Spike. Then his eyes narrow at something behind me, and he quickly ducks inside.

I'm about to ask why when a familiar voice calls out behind me. "Buffy?"

I cringe before turning to Riley. I've already told the others about who he really is, and I get why Spike hurried away. It's not so much to protect himself, but to protect Riley from getting pounded into the pavement. I don't blame him.

I feel Willow walk away too, leaving me alone with the commando. "Riley. Where did you come from? I didn't see you at all." If he's that good at sneaking up on me…

"Just across the street," he says. "And a…couple of blocks down."

Great, he still has a thing for me. It just scares me more, that a guy who's now my enemy – despite not even knowing it – just also happens to be really into me. I mean, it could be a good thing; love redeems, and all that. But I don't wanna lead him on, because even if he _was_ just a normal guy or even a _good_ demon hunter, I wouldn't be interested.

He talks about going back to Iowa to be with his family for Thanksgiving, and I try to listen. He just seems so…_normal_. Hard to imagine a typical farm boy from Iowa being part of an organization who may or may not kidnap me for experimentation. Then again, I'm pretty good at keeping up the 'just a normal girl' façade, but at least I'm a good guy.

When he finally goes on his way I sigh with relief. At least he and his little army pals will be gone for the holidays so I can relax. I smile and giggle at the thought of what excuse he'll use in order to explain to his family why he looks like someone used him as a punching bag.

I see Willow and Spike approaching me. Willow looks hesitant about something. "Wills, what's up?"

"I…err… Hey, why don't I go get the last of the ingredients for dinner while you and Spike patrol?" Before I can reply she hurries away.

She's hiding something. Willow's a terrible liar, and always runs when she's keeping secrets. "What was that about?" I ask Spike.

He looks around, probably on the lookout for Riley or the other commandos, before he takes my elbow to lead me away. "Not here." We hurry down the street at a fast pace, and he only stops once we're away from the town.

"Spike, what's up?"

He looks around again before replying, "Angel's in town."


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Give

**Spike**

I'm so busy trying to avoid Captain Cardboard – so busy getting angry all over again – that I don't feel the family sense in time, and I'm suddenly grabbed and pinned up against the wall in the corner of the coffee shop.

"Spike!"

Great, and I thought things couldn't get any worse.

"Oh, it's you," I say, glaring at Peaches. "Gone and lost your soul again, have you?" My thoughts run quickly, thinking about how I can over-power him before he escapes and gets to Kitty… Oh god, if he gets to Kitty…

He takes out a stake. "I thought we told you to never come back?"

"Angel!" Red's suddenly in the way, and my first thought is to try and put myself in front of her. "Angelus! What are you doing here all evil?!"

He blinks in confusion. "I'm not evil."

Then I smell that soul of his, and I sigh. Pity. I was looking forwards to staking him. "He's not evil, Red."

"Then why was he pinning you up against the wall?" she asks, confused.

"Because while I'm not evil, _he_ is." He glares at me again.

"Not anymore," I say. "Didn't you get the memo?"

He looks surprised, and then looks me up and down before turning to Red. "You actually _trust_ him? He doesn't have a soul."

"It's a long story," says Red. "Spike came to us for help. He kind of has a sister now."

"Sister?" He looks back at me. "Your sister died; I remember you crying about her for weeks."

"You cried for her?" Red gives me a look of sympathy. "Remind me to hug you later."

"Not needed," I say. I turn to Peaches. "She's back now; for some reason I don't know, the Powers That Bloody Be decided to reincarnate her. Not only is she back, she's also a Slayer like the last time."

"Reincarnation? I didn't know that was a thing."

"Well, it is," I say. "She looks the same, acts the same, talks the same; she's my sister, and if you know me at all, you Poof, then you'll know that I'll do anything I can to protect her."

"That includes making a truce with us," says Red. "Angel, he's helping. So no staking. Got it?"

The Poof looks between us once more before putting the stake away. Because I'm right; he knows me, so he knows that when it comes to people I care about, I'll do anything for them. "Sorry. I'm here to protect Buffy. I saw you, and…"

"I get it," I say. "Slayer of Slayers, and all tha' rot. I need her to help me protect Kitty; your girl's safe. From me, anyway."

"Protect Buffy from what?" asks Red.

"My friend had a vision," says the Poof. "Buffy's in danger."

My eyebrow rises. "You know a seer?"

"Half demon."

"So tell her," says Red. "Help her."

"If she sees me, it'll be worse."

Ah, I see his game. Not only does he think the Slayer's not good enough to defend herself, but he also thinks she's not strong enough to see him and keep her focus. Does he really love her? Because that's probably the biggest insult he can give her.

Red agrees with me. "See, I don't get that. The whole 'leaving for her own good' garbage. You can't just give up because there are obstacles."

"No," I say. "He did the right thing leavin' her." The Poof gives me a confused look followed by a grateful one, and I decide not to tell him the real reason why I agree with him leaving – that he and the Slayer never could've worked out.

"You know how I feel about her. If there was some way…" He trails off and sighs. "Everything's different now."

"Hey, is Cordelia really working for you?" asks Red suddenly.

My eyebrow rises again. "The cheerleader?"

Red nods to me. "That's gotta be a…special experience. I mean, of all the people you could've hired-"

"Willow," he interrupts. I can see his gaze focussed on the Slayer. "I'm here to protect Buffy. I haven't got a whole lot of time for personal stuff."

Not like that would take long. He's got no personality to begin with.

"Right," says Red. "How can we help?"

The Poof's still looking at the Slayer, and I can see the jealousy in his eyes. Meaning that the Slayer's still talking to Commando Boy. "Well…can you just tell me…who's that guy?"

"Riley," says Willow. "But there's nothing going on between them. He's kinda part of an evil underground lab who experiment on demons."

"Underground…" The Poof shakes his head. "Whatever."

"And even if she _was_ datin' the wanker, is it really your business?" I speak up. "You left her so she could 'move on', from what I heard. So you should be happy for her when she _does_ 'move on'."

He glares at me, and it's the reaction I need to know what's really going on with him. Telling her to find someone normal… What a load of rot. He knows as well as I know that the Slayer can't settle for someone normal. Meaning that when she tries it'll blow up in her face, she'll think she can't love anyone else other than him, and she'll be his for eternity.

And she'll be miserable. Again I ask, does he really love her?

"Look, just don't say anything to her," says the Poof. "I should go." He hurries out the building and into the night.

I continue to expand my senses until I know he's gone. Good. That means he's not watching, which means I can tell her. Because she deserves to know what he's doing to her, and it'll prove to him that she can handle herself even when he's around. Wanker.

Thankfully Red is able to remove herself without much effort from me, and I lead Buffy away from the town. I make sure the Poof's not lurking before I tell her about him.

The Slayer stares at me with wide eyes. "He's…here. And he's not telling me-"

"Because he thinks you can't handle it," I say. "That's why I'm tellin' you; it's a bloody insult. Thinkin' he has to protect you in more ways than one. You can handle yourself in a fight, and you can sure as hell handle _seein'_ the wanker. He always has to make all the decisions himself."

The Slayer looks down. "He…he was the same before. Whenever we were planning things… If he didn't like my plan, he'd make me feel stupid. He'd say how he's older than me and he's been in the game longer than I have… I thought he was right, but sometimes his plans backfired, and-"

"He's controllin' you; it's that dominatin' streak of his," I tell her. "He thinks you're his and his alone, and bein' his means he has to control you. The only reason he left was 'cause he couldn't sleep with you. There're more ways to love someone than sleepin' with them."

The Slayer nods. "He… Something happened before he left, and it made me realize just how close he is to losing it."

I see a tear in her eye, and suddenly I feel bad. I try not to question why; I should be giving her the bloody intervention of all interventions, but I can't bring myself to say anything more.

"Look… I'm sorry, pet. It's just…" I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "He gets on my nerves, you know? He pulls crap like this, and I can't help but remember wha' he did to Dru. You don't deserve to be treated like this; like you can't protect yourself from the nasties out there or your own heart. And…" I sigh again; I can't believe I'm saying this. "If you wanted to be left in the dark, then I'm sorry I told you. Just felt that you deserved to know the truth."

She shakes her head. "You don't have to apologize. I'm glad you told me." She looks up and smiles at me. It's a nice, genuine smile, and it looks good on her. I smile back…

…and when did this moment get so awkward?

Change the subject, change the subject… "Err… When you confront 'im, maybe don't mention that I'm the one who told you. He's liable to jump to conclusions and stake me. He's already tried once."

"He has?"

"How'd you think I found out 'bout 'im?" I say. "T'was when you were talkin' to Commando Boy. He pinned me and would've staked me then and there had Red not intervened. Doubt he would've listened to reason from the likes of me."

I see a flash of fear cross her face. It's confusing, but I ignore it. "I'm…glad he didn't stake you. For Juno, I mean. I probably would've had to staked him back."

I don't believe she would've done, but it's a nice thing to say. "Thanks, pet." And when did I start using pet names for her? "D'you wanna patrol before we head back to the house?"

She nods. "Yeah. And maybe, if we bump into Angel, we can play a game of 'Kick the Vampire'."

I laugh. "Count me in."


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Pangs

**Buffy**

I didn't cry when Angel left. When I cried, I cried for Faith and the life she could have led had I not…

Angel made me do a bad thing – he made me kill Faith so I could save him. OK, so 'made' is a strong word, but the fact that I loved him so much was the ultimatum; it was either him or Faith. I chose him and killed Faith. I only realized what I'd done – what he'd unintentionally made me do – when I saw him vamp out and drain her dry.

He made me take a life – which is why I'm so mad that he's come back without telling me.

Spike and I don't run into him on patrol, and part of me is glad because I don't think I would've been able to hold myself back from beating him to a pulp. Does he really think I'm that weak? That I can't handle myself against whatever danger he claims is out to get me? That I can't handle seeing him?

I remember before he left, when he kept on cutting into my fights because he was 'protecting' me. Looking back on it, I can't believe I let him get away with that. I loved him; I know that's why, but love is blind. Love is about compromise, and I shouldn't have let him get away with everything he did simply because I loved him.

Thinking about it… He didn't always cut into my fights. Only the important ones. Actually at first, he seemed to stay away and let me do the fighting. He only showed up to help for the big stuff. When I needed the help.

Or only when he could make himself look good, I realize. He made himself look like the hero – a hero I fell hard for. I remember what Spike said before about how Angel never told me about his past, and the implication that he never corrected me on the 'soul equals good' conclusion because it would make him look bad.

I've been having a lot of epiphanies about Angel. Never correcting me about the purpose of souls so I don't stop loving him. Never telling me about his past because he knows I'll hate it. Only showing up for a fight when it makes him look good, and then showing up all the time with the excuse that he's protecting me and that it's for my own good. The fact that he had no interest in saving the world until I showed up. Then I remember Mom's implications that I loved Angel blindly and I only saw the man I wanted to see instead of the man he actually was. And that just reminds me of Spike's words about the soul not being his own, meaning that technically, 'Angel' doesn't exist; he's just an extra-evil vampire with the soul of a saint shoved into his body.

I wonder how many more epiphanies it'll take before my love for Angel dies completely.

* * *

><p>Grey areas in the world? So not something I can deal with.<p>

There's Veruca, the human/werewolf girl who thought that killing people was part of her nature. Then there's Spike, a vampire without a soul who should be evil and yet he clearly loves his sister and is willing to go against his nature in order to make a truce with us.

And then there's the Chumash Native American guy, who just wants vengeance for what happened to his people.

Willow and Oz show up, and her words about the Chumash people being harmless – like fluffy kittens – don't help. I'm torn about what to do. Giles thinks I should fight him anyway because he's killing people, but that makes me feel guilty. Then Willow says that I should apologize somehow and leave him alone, but that makes me feel guilty about the people he's killed and the other people he'll no doubt go on to kill.

Then Xander and Anya show up, saying that the spirit made Xander ill, and I feel even _guiltier_. Why can't Mr. Native American understand that I like my enemies like I like my men; evil?

And did I really just say that? As hot as some bad boys are… I find myself looking at Spike, only to catch myself before anyone notices. I attempt to hide the blush creeping across my face.

Can't do the vampire thing again, I keep telling myself. Sure, he's not evil anymore and he doesn't have a soul to lose… OK, why am I thinking about the pros here?

At least he and Juno seem to be keeping quiet in the debate, although I do catch him rolling his eyes a lot and muttering things like, "idiotic happy meals", which I don't entirely blame him for. And then he whispers to me that Giles knows about Angel too, which just makes me mad again.

I thought Giles hated Angel? How did he get roped into the web of lies? I decide not to confront him until after dinner; there's enough going on already.

There's a knock at the door, and with nothing to do, Juno answers it. I don't pay attention – until she yelps and jumps back from the door. Spike, Giles and I hurry to her side in time to see Jonathon pick himself up and re-wrap himself in an old, dirty blanket.

"What part of '_help me_' don't you understand?!"

"Sorry. You made me jump," says Juno.

"Alright," I hold out my hand and Giles places a stake into it, "what's your play, Jonathon? Why are you here? And what was with the strange behaviour the other night?"

"Invite me in, and I'll tell you," he says.

"Very unlikely," says Giles.

"Then why's _he_ in there?" He points at Spike.

"It's called a truce, and I'm not a fledge who can't control their fangs," says Spike. Then he frowns. "Somethin's not right with you."

"What?" I turn to him. "What do you mean?"

Spike gestures to him. "Are you people _blind_? The boy looks starved to death."

"I'm safe," says Jonathon. "I can't bite anyone. I can't even _hit_ people. You want to know what was happening the other night? Every time I try and hurt someone, I get this electrical shock in my brain. I think they inserted some kind of behaviour modification chip."

"They?" I ask.

"The commandos," he says. "They took me down to this underground lab right out of a science-fiction novel. They…did things to me. I was unconscious for most of it, luckily. But I escaped, and when I went to bite someone, I got the shock of my life. No pun intended."

The commandos… That's what they're doing to them? At least, one of the many things. I can't help but think it's a good thing, having vampires who can't bite people, but at the same time I can't help but feel sorry for Jonathon. Because here he is, starved to death and desperate enough to seek out the Slayer for help.

"He really doesn't look good, Buffy," says Juno.

Spike nods. "Can't hear much blood flow in him. Vamps won't starve themselves just for the sake of gettin' an invite, especially a fledge; don't have the self-control. Probably tellin' the truth."

I agree. And if he's lying, it's only Jonathon; _Juno_ can take care of him. Heck, _Xander_ can probably take care of him, even ill. "Giles, invite him in."

"Buffy-"

"Giles, think. He was in those labs," I tell him. "He might have the information we need. He's helpless."

Giles sighs, rolling his eyes. "He can come in, but only if you tie him up. I'm not taking any chances. We have enough problems as it is."

Jonathon runs inside, dropping the blanket, and I grab him immediately before sitting him down on a chair. Giles hands me some rope. "I'm really sorry about this," I say.

"At least I'm inside and you're helping me," says Jonathon. "I get that you don't trust me; you're not stupid."

Spike disappears into the kitchen and then reappears with a packet of blood; he brought some over for himself to eat with the dinner. "I've got some more if he needs it." He holds the packet out for Jonathon, who slips into his game face and bites into it.

And now back to the Chumash problem. I wish we can just forget about that and focus on Jonathon and the commandos.

Giles realizes that apart from Xander, only authority figures have been targeted, and I think that the Dean will be next. And while warning the Dean is good and all, I still need to find a…nice way to get rid of the spirit. A way which doesn't make me feel bad. Willow still isn't on board and keeps shouting out facts about what happened, and then Jonathon has to join in with facts of his own. Xander and Giles keep saying that I need to kill the spirit, and I notice that Juno is just getting more worked up by the minute.

So it doesn't come as a surprise when Spike finally speaks up. "Oh, someone put a stake in me."

"I'd volunteer if I wasn't getting acquainted with my new syphilis," says Xander.

Spike rolls his eyes. "I can't take this anymore; all this boo-hooin' about the bloody indians."

"Err, the preferred term is-" But Spike's speaking again before Willow can correct him.

"You won! Alright? You came in and you killed 'em and you took their land. That's what conquerin' nations _do_." He rolls his eyes again. "You can't just go, "I came and I conquered _but I feel really bad about it_". The history of the world isn't about makin' friends, and it's not about fluffy unicorns and ponies; you had better weapons and you _massacred_ 'em. End of story. It happened, and it's about time tha' we just moved on, 'cause feelin' bad 'bout it isn't gonna make anything better."

Feeling guilty, I can't help but say, "I think the Spaniards actually…not that I don't like Spaniards…"

He rolls his eyes. I should start keeping a tally for the many times he's done that today. "Listen to yourself! How're you gonna fight _anyone_ with that attitude? The world is grey, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do."

"I just wanna have Thanksgiving," I say.

"And we don't wanna fight anyone!" Willow protests.

"Maybe we could talk to him?" Oz suggests.

"Good luck," he says. "You _exterminated his race_. What could you possibly say that's gonna make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here; take your bloody pick."

And Xander – _Xander_ of all people – is the first to admit that what Spike's saying makes sense. It does, but I still feel bad about it, and how can I slay someone I feel sorry for?

Willow, Oz, Anya and Xander leave to go warn the Dean, leaving the rest of us alone. When evening falls we start setting the table, only to get interrupted by Mr. Native American Spirit Guy shooting arrows with his pals.

My first instinct is to fight back, and boy, does that make me feel guiltier than before. I try to apologize at first, but he doesn't listen. I don't really have a choice; I crawl over to the weapons chest and raid it.

Someone rings with a late warning – Angel I guess, taking into account Giles's vague answer of 'someone' when I ask who it was – and Jonathon gets shot with several arrows, which leads to Juno untying him so he can at least hide. Spike practically launches himself at her when arrows fly her way, and one almost hits his heart.

I try to ignore the flash of fear that shoots through me at the thought of him turning to dust. I got it before when he mentioned that Angel almost staked him, and I can't imagine why I'm afraid of him dying apart from it being bad for Juno.

I don't ignore the flash of gratitude when a spirit comes up behind me and Spike takes him out – barely missing a knife being thrown from outside. I wonder who threw it.

The others arrive not long afterwards to help, and things more or less get easier afterwards. I figure out that they can only be harmed by their own weapons, the leader turns into a bear – which freaks Spike out for some reason – and I kill him. At least dinner turns out OK.

And then Xander mentions Angel, and everyone looks towards me.

I just play it casual. "Oh, I knew he was here. But can we not talk about it right now? I'll lecture you after dinner."

* * *

><p>So when dinner's over, the lecture begins.<p>

"You told her, Spike?" says Willow. "Angel told you not to."

"When have I ever listened to anything the Poof says?" says Spike. "Never. 'Sides, the girl deserved to know. What the wanker was doin' wasn't right. He can see her but she can't see him? It's controllin'; that's what it is."

"I said the same to him," says Giles.

"And yet you decided not to tell me anyway," I say. "I can't believe Angel roped you all into this. It's bad enough that he thinks I can't handle it, now all of you think that, too? It's not just unfeeling; it's insulting. You say you have my best interests at heart, but you don't understand what those are. I make a mistake with Angel one time – OK, maybe twice – and suddenly I can't do anything right when he's around?"

They don't say anything. Good. That means they're listening.

"I'm the Slayer; I can handle a couple of badies, and I sure as hell can handle having Angel back in my life without getting distracted," I continue. "I'm not the little girl I once was; the girl who was so caught up in experiencing love for the first time that she didn't think about the consequences it would bring to those around her. I've learnt since then. I've grown up."

"You know, it's kind of Angel's fault, not ours," says Xander.

"I know it's mostly his fault – and believe me, I'm going to LA in the morning where I'll be giving him one _hell_ of a talking to – but you guys still went along with it," I say. "Stop treating me like my heart might break at any moment."

They apologize, and only then do I realize that the only person – besides Juno who I can excuse for not knowing anything about Angel – who fully understood the situation, was Spike. My once mortal enemy.

What does that mean?


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Free

**Buffy**

He claims it's to protect me, but how does that make me feel? It makes me feel useless. He makes me feel like some princess locked in a tower who can't do anything for herself and has to rely on a handsome knight to save her.

How does he not see that?

So I make my appearance and I give him a look deadly enough to spontaneously turn him to dust. He tries giving me the kicked puppy look – a look I fell for so many times whenever he did something wrong and wanted my forgiveness, or he wanted me to feel guilty – but I ignore it. He's not getting out of this that easily.

I say 'hi' to Cordelia and she introduces me to Angel's seer friend Doyle, before they leave us alone. Good. I really don't wanna yell at Angel in front of them.

"Can I get you anything?" he asks, as if there's nothing wrong.

And that just makes me more pissed off; that he's acting like he's done nothing wrong. "How about an explanation? Who do you think you are coming to _my_ town, following me around behind my back?"

"I'm sorry-"

"You can see me but I can't see _you_?"

"I wrestled with that decision," he claims.

"Which you made without me; something you used to do a lot but only now am I seeing just how wrong that is."

"Trust me, Buffy," he says. "I didn't get the better half."

"I don't care about halves or the decision!" I yell. "Do you know how it makes me feel, that you felt you had to do that? Useless. You felt the need to protect me from something I was _clearly_ able to handle, and you thought I wouldn't be able to cope with seeing you without it distracting me. That's an insult against my abilities as a Slayer and my abilities to control my emotions. Because I _can_, Angel. If I can handle sending you to hell, I'm pretty sure I can handle seeing you for a couple of days. I don't need your protection like some damn princess bride, and I sure as hell don't need you tip-toeing around me 'cause you think I might lose control and burst into tears at any second. It's bad enough that my friends are doing it; I don't need you adding more stress to my life."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say it won't happen again," I tell him. "Because somehow I know it will. You need to learn that I'm a grown woman; I've learnt a lot since our little play act of 'Romeo and Juliet', one of those lessons being exactly why the play was a tragedy."

"Why are you-?"

"Just shut up; you don't get to talk after what you did," I tell him. "Put yourself in my shoes; how would you react if you found out that I'd come to LA to protect _you_ from something you can probably handle, I told your friends not to tell you, and I did it because I felt you weren't strong enough to handle seeing me?" He avoids eye contact with me, and I can tell he gets the message. "Next time you friend gets a vision about me, or even if you just hear something, you _call_ me. And if I need help, I'll _ask_ for you to come. No more crap about me being 'just a girl' and needing the protection; I get enough of that from the _normal_ guys."

"Like Riley?"

"We're not together," I tell him.

He nods. "I know. Willow told me."

"But even if we _were_ together, it'd be none of your business," I tell him. "So, let's just stick to the plan; we keep our distance, call each other if we hear anything, and we _don't_ come storming into each other's' towns. OK?"

He gets this sudden distraught look, like he's in emotional pain. I didn't yell at him _that_ hard, did I? He was only feeling guilty before; what's with the sudden tragedy?

Suddenly the window smashes and we turn to see a demon staring us down, ready for a fight. But before I can attack it Angel grabs a paper weight from his desk, grabs the demon and smashes the gem in the centre of its forehead. That was…fast.

He notices my questioning look and supplies, "Mohra demon. The only way to kill them is to hit the gem in the centre of their forehead. Speaking of gems, Oz mentioned-"

"That I have the Gem of Amara," I finish. "I knew you wouldn't use it, so I plan on giving it to Spike once I know I can trust him. He needs it more than you do."

"How do you know you can trust him?" asks Angel, almost bitterly.

My eyebrow rises. "Considering _he_ was the one who told me about you in the first place? Right now I trust him more than I trust my friends."

I leave without saying goodbye. It just feels…right somehow. Actually, I'm feeling a lot different compared to how I first arrived. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I've closed a door leading to my past. I don't know how or where this feeling came from, but it feels satisfying.

* * *

><p>Spike and I patrol without Juno. He doesn't want her out again until he's certain that the commandos are just sticking to the campus and its surrounding area. Over the past few nights we've been following them to track their movements; see where they are at certain times so we know how to avoid them.<p>

There are a couple of haunts that they avoid – a few cemeteries like Restfield and they surprisingly don't know about Willy's place – and we make note of each and every one of them. Spike probably won't let Juno out for another week, but he's her brother; if I had a sister, I'd be the same.

I'd die for her.

On the walk back to Revello Drive, I think about the recurring dream I've been having. Instead of killing the weird gem-demon straight away, Angel and I chase it. Somehow its blood turns Angel human again, and the first thing he does is try to kiss me in daylight. Only I don't let him.

Everything – all my epiphanies, his actions as Angelus, what happened with Faith – crashes down on me, and I can't bring myself to be with him. For the first time I start thinking about what it would be like to have a future with Angel, and despite being human, I can't imagine us lasting more than a year – and that's if we really push it. Because apart from our connection to the demon world in one way or another, we have nothing in common. There's little for us to go on, and I see that clear as day with him being human.

There are so many problems for us, even without the whole soul issue…and I know that it just won't work. In the dream, Angel is determined to prove that we can work, only to almost get himself killed when another Mohra demon shows up. I can see that he hates that I have to save him. So he goes to these Oracles and asks them to change him back; he tells me that it's to protect me – so he's strong enough to fight for me – but I know the real reason.

He knows that we can't work. So he decides to turn back time – make me forget – so at least his life has some meaning as a hero in LA.

Part of me knows that it really happened, and that same part of me accepts it. I'm angry that it's the whole 'he can see me while I can't see him' thing again, but that's technically not his fault this time; that was the Oracles. And since it was real…it explains why I feel closure with him. Because I've accepted that we can't work together, for so many reasons that I'm surprised that I didn't see it before.

I was so lost in love…and he encouraged that. Jerk.

"You alright, Slayer?" I see Spike giving me a look of concern.

His emotional reactions towards me were unusual at first, but I've come to accept them. Maybe that's just who Spike is; an emotional, highly unusual vampire. Also one who's a surprisingly good listener and advice-giver, so I decide to tell him about the dream.

"I've been having this dream lately," I explain. "Angel becomes human, and it should be a dream come true, but… I can't bring myself to be with him. I remember everything you told me, everything Mom told me and everything I've realized since then, and I know that I can't be ignorant to everything that's happened between us. Which then makes me realize that we really have no future together, and we're just fooling ourselves if we think otherwise. Even if he finds a way to secure his soul, I would never be able to live with him. Not after…"

"Faith," he guesses. "Your mum mentioned what happened."

"I killed her," I tell him. "I killed her in a blind panic to save Angel. I was so emotional and so desperate to save him that I didn't think about the consequences my actions would bring. It's the same when I slept with him; we should've made sure that his soul was secure because all curses can be broken, but I didn't think. All I could think about was how much I thought I loved him, and in the end, that's what killed the relationship. What I had with him was every definition of a first love; I didn't think about anything other than him, and the reason it felt so exciting and powerful wasn't because he was my soulmate, which he _so_ isn't. It was because I was reacting to feeling love for the first time. I'm not saying I didn't love him, because I did; it was _how_ I loved him that was wrong. And I know that now."

"Good on you, pet," he tells me, and I wonder when he started using pet names for me. "The wanker was just holdin' you back; you deserve better."

I nod. "But I can't help but wonder… What is love? Can I really love someone in any other way other than what I felt for him? And what guy would want me? He said I should find a normal boyfriend, but when I was talking to Riley he treated me like I was less than him. He said that I can't take care of myself just because I'm a girl. Are all guys gonna be like that?"

"No," he tells me. "I'm not like that; I like a girl who can kick my ass."

"Charming."

He chuckles. "What you need, Slayer, is a man who can keep up. A man who understands who and what you are. Love isn't about wantin' someone or havin' someone; it's about lovin' that person for who they are, no matter what. Love is when you know every single thing about someone and love them for it." He stops then to look at me, and I stop too. "You, Slayer, are one hell of a woman. You're not normal, and that's a good thing; it makes you unique. And your perfect match, wherever he may be, won't be normal, either. Because whether you like it or not, you'll never have a normal life, and tryin' to find a normal boy will never work out in the long run."

"And yet Angel told me to find someone normal," I say.

"Joyce told me 'bout that," he says. "And from what I can gather, he was just makin' excuses 'cause you two can't be together. Love is never a freak show, no matter what he says. And him tellin' you to find someone normal? He knows a Slayer can never settle for normal, therefore he knows that when you try, things will go wrong and you'll blame yourself, and you'll end up lovin' no one but him."

And with those words, the tiny part of me that still loved Angel dies. "He told me once that having a normal guy around would never be a good idea," I say. "He'll always be in danger, and it'll be my fault when he dies. He…he said that so I'd go to him instead, didn't he?"

"And then told you the opposite so you'd fail and go crawlin' back to him," he adds. "He's still Angelus, through and through; always loved his mind games."

A tear falls from my eye. "All this time he's been manipulating me…and I fell for it because I was a stupid, love-struck teenager."

I'm surprised when he reaches across and wipes the tear from my eye. "And now you're free of him. You know who and what he is, and you can move on."

I absolutely do not watch him longer than I should when he walks up the path to my house.


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Blue

**Spike**

"Riley tried to invite me on a picnic."

I clench my fist and look at Kitty. She doesn't stop walking like I expect her to, and she was looking away before the Slayer mentioned Soldier Boy, but I see her expression change to one of worry. I tell myself that I'm clenching my fist because of her, and it's definitely _not_ because of the trouble the Slayer's in.

But I still feel for her. She's only just gotten over my wanker of a grandsire. She doesn't need some other twit coming along to ruin her life.

"What'd you say?" I ask warily.

"I turned him down. Duh. Nobody hurts my sister Slayer and gets away with it," she tells me. "And I wasn't even that interested in him before; this just makes me even surer about him. Riley Finn and Buffy Summers don't mix. We're non-mixy people."

I raise an eyebrow. "I don't think I've ever heard someone butcher the Queen's English as adorably as you, Slayer."

She gives my shoulder a playful shove. "I feel a little bad, though. He told me he has to do prep work before having a conversation with me, which means he's really trying. Either that, or he just said that as an elaborate pick-up line."

"Oh, a pick-up line. Definitely," I say. "I might try that one myself."

She rolls her eyes, making her look even more adorable…and why the hell am I thinking she's adorable?

"It kind of makes me wonder what it'll be like dating a normal guy," she says, almost to herself. "I mean, a picnic! It's daylight, which is a new venue Buffy-wise. And guys usually bring all the food, so all I have to do is show up and eat, which are two things I'm really good at. It's different…but it sounds nice. Will non-normal guys do picnics?"

I shrug. "Some demons are just like people. The harmless ones are, anyway. But some can't really go out in public. I've gone on some picnics myself with Dru, only they were at night, and there was a bit more…blood." I wince, waiting for her snort of disgust.

But it doesn't come. So she either didn't hear me properly, or she's just come to accept what kind of creature I was before little sis walked back into my life. I suppose that's a good thing; means she's used to having me around.

"A…A picnic does sound nice," Kitty speaks up. "Willie used to take Mother and I on picnics. In the life before, I mean. And in this life I used to go on picnics with Mum and Dad all the time in the summer…whenever it was not raining, of course. England has a lot of rain."

The Slayer nods. "Giles keeps telling me the same thing."

I chuckle. "I wouldn't worry, Slayer. You'll find the right bloke one way or another. Probably where you least expect to find him. And you'll know it when you do."

"So he won't make me miserable like Angel did?"

I nod. Christ, that wanker really did a number on her. "For the most part anyway, 'cause love is pain. S' where the fire comes from. Love and passion sometimes have to go hand-in-hand with pain and fightin'."

"I get that." A vampire jumps out in front of us, but the Slayer barely blinks before hitting him with the stake in her hand. He turns to dust.

"Great love is wild and passionate, and it hurts," I say. "It burns and consumes you from the inside out. I told you before tha' it's not brains; it's blood, which is why we make a lot of bad choices. A lot of wrong bloody calls, you know? The blood screamin' inside you works its will, and only when it stops do you realize just how bloody stupid you were to listen in the first place."

I can tell that she's listening. "So how do you know if it's true love?"

I shrug. "You don't. I thought Dru was my everything, and look what happened with her. You thought Angel was yours, and only now do you realize how big a wanker he is. I s'pose it'll feel a little different, but the same. You know?"

She nods. "Strangely enough I think I do."

Another vampire jumps out at us, and this time Kitty shoves a stake through his heart, turning him to dust. "I wonder what my first love will be like?" she asks.

"If any boy comes near you with his dick hangin' out, I'm cuttin' it off."

* * *

><p>The interrogation of the Nerd Fledge can't really be called an interrogation. He tells us pretty much everything he knows without complaint, but what he knows admittedly isn't much. He didn't see the actual lab; just the holding area. It was another vamp who told him about the blood being drugged.<p>

Having that vamp here would've been helpful, but he got staked during the escape. Nerd Fledge barely escaped with his own unlife, and I have to wonder how. Fledglings can be dumb enough to be pets rather than minions.

He's at least able to help us figure out what's been done to him. That's why I call him the Nerd Fledge.

"It has to be a behaviour modification chip," he says. He takes a sip from the blood the Watcher poured into a mug. "It acts like one; I go to hurt someone, and it sends electrical shocks through my brain. If I had the plans from the lab, I could probably figure out how it works – and figure out how to shut it off."

I exchange a look with the Slayer. While the capturing of these demons is cruel, and letting them starve even more so, it's still a good thing that this fledge can't bite anymore. Put this thing in the more dangerous vamps, and it would solve a lot of problems.

"None of us are goin' in there anytime soon," I say firmly. And I don't just mean myself and Kitty; I can't stand the thought of the Slayer getting caught, either. She doesn't deserve something like that.

Nerd Fledge nods. "I understand. Can I go now? I want to go check on Harmony and make sure she's OK. If she's been captured, too… She's vulnerable; it'll destroy her."

"Wasn't Harmony just using you to get the Gem?" asks the Slayer.

"I know, but…" He sighs. "I just want to see her."

The Slayer sighs. "OK, you can go. Just be careful. You remember the routes we talked about?"

He nods. The Slayer and I talked about all the routes the commando boys don't take, and he was there for the talk. The boy leaves, and I notice a distant look on the Slayer's face as she slouches back on the couch with another sigh.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

"Just…getting used to seeing vamps like this," she says. "Him all worried about Harmony, you being in love with Drusilla and protecting your sister… Kinda makes me wonder if Angelus was the odd one out; the vampire who's different. The rest of you seem pretty capable of emotion, while he didn't have an ounce of it."

"The Judge touched him," I explain. "Back when he…you know. Couldn't burn 'im, though. Wasn't any humanity to burn. He also told Dru and I that we reeked of it. Humanity, I mean. Burnt up one of my best minions, too. I miss good ol' Dalton. He and your Watcher would've gotten along swimmingly."

She smiles. "Giles being best friends with a vampire; Hell will freeze over first. But he seems to get along with you well enough."

I have to agree. The Watcher's not so bad. He was just tolerating me at first, but then he found out that us Brits have gotta stick together against the "bloody colonials".

* * *

><p>Twenty-four hours and still no sign that Nerd Fledge is coming back. Just when we're about to write him off as being recaptured, the Watcher comes back and tells us that he found the boy wandering aimlessly around the campus. He couldn't convince him to come back with him, though; wasn't strong enough.<p>

He asks the Slayer to get him before disappearing into the bathroom. I can't help but wonder what's going on with him.

"You alright, Watcher?" I call to him.

"Yes," he calls back. "My eye sight is just going a little fuzzy. Nothing to concern yourself with."

The Slayer arrives with Nerd Fledge in tow. "Look what I picked up, Spike."

I take one look at the boy and know that his reunion with Little Miss Valley Vamp didn't go as planned. "Alright, what happened?"

"She kicked me out, just like that!" he complains. "And she turned our Evil Lair into a sanctuary for unicorns!"

"Unicorns exist?" asks Kitty.

"In one of the other dimensions," I reply.

"He probably means her toy and poster collection," says the Slayer. "But really? There's a dimension with unicorns?"

I shrug. "Ask Demon Girl. She'll know more 'bout it."

"I could go to that dimension and get her a unicorn…" Nerd Fledge thinks. "Better than the spell I tried. It didn't work."

Great. He tried a spell. Those _always_ work out great. "What spell was it?"

"Why should I tell _you_?"

"We should call Wills. Get her to come over," says the Slayer.

I nod. "Right. Good plan."

"See? This is why I shouldn't tell you!" Nerd Fledge complains. "You're a master vampire – one of the best who's ever been – and here you are fighting alongside the Slayer! Who _accepts_ you! You're already friends; why don't you just make it worse and marry each other?"

I find myself turning to the Slayer…and I can't believe I didn't see it before.

She's beautiful. Her hair is like golden sunshine which could burn me up if I touch it. Her eyes are like emeralds that rightfully belong on the crown jewels in the Tower of London. The way she moves when she slays is like a dance; I could dance with her for the rest of my unlife and I'll never grow tired of it. I'll never grow tired of her. And her smile… Oh, her smile…

Nerd Fledge is absolutely right. We _should_ get married.

I take her hands in mind and get her to sit on the chair at the Watcher's desk, before I get down on one knee before her. I take a ring off my finger and hold it out to her. "Buffy Summers, you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever met. Will you do me the honour of marryin' me?"

She gasps in wonder. "Marry you. Wow, it's…just so sudden. I don't know what to say."

"Just say 'yes', and make me the happiest man on Earth."

She beams, and when she beams she glows. I can't believe I'm the bloke who put that smile on her face. She takes the ring from me and slips it on her finger. "Oh, Spike… Of course it's 'yes'!"

She said 'yes'! I've dreamed of this day; finding out that someone loves me as much as I love them. And that someone being the amazing Buffy Summers… It's like all my wildest dreams have given birth to a love child; that love child being this incredible moment.

We both jump to our feet and our lips come together like magnets. Kissing her just feels so right that I can't believe I didn't do it before.

Why was I in so much denial before? How could I not love this woman in front of me?

"What on Earth is…?" I hear the Watcher enter the room, and I can't wait to tell him the good news.

Buffy beats me to it. She ends the kiss but I still hold her close, burying my face into her hair. God, she smells so sweet. I've longed to bury my nose into her hair and run my fingers through her gracious golden locks.

"Giles, you won't believe what's just happened!" Buffy squeals.

"What…on…Earth…?"

"Don't look at me!" I hear Nerd Fledge say. "I only told them to get married, and he proposed! Just like that!"

I ignore them. I've found the woman I'll love for all eternity, and that's all that matters. I look over to Kitty and see her smiling, and I know that she's happy for us, too. We can be a family now.

One big happily family.


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Wed

**Spike**

"Is everyone here completely insane?!"

I ignore Nerd Fledge as I kiss Buffy again. And again. And again. God, I'm never gonna get tired of this.

"I think you may be onto something there, Jonathon." I wonder what the Watcher's talking about. Has he seen something that shouldn't be happening? They don't seem to be making a huge fuss about it.

Good. Because I don't think anything could pull me away from Buffy now. God, she's glorious. I wanna kick myself for not kissing her before.

I hear Nerd Fledge give a frustrated sigh. "The Slayer's kissing a vampire she's supposed to kill. I thought Xander was bad enough dating an ex-demon. Though, I shouldn't be too surprised by that. He's a demon magnet."

* * *

><p>As I sit waiting for Buffy to bring some blood in for me and the Nerd Fledge, I eavesdrop on the Watcher in the kitchen. He's on the phone to Red, claiming that some kind of spell has been cast on us and that it's making him blind. He also keeps casting looks to Buffy and me, and I know that he thinks we're under a spell, too.<p>

But we're not. At least, I'm not. I wouldn't be shocked if it turned out that Buffy's under a spell that's making her love me. But I know I love her. I know it with my entire being. I've never loved anyone like I love her. Not even Dru comes close.

I look over at Kitty, who's sat next to Nerd Fledge, and I lean over to catch her attention. "Kitty, I know I never asked you-"

"About whether it was OK to marry Buffy? You didn't need to, Willie. It was your decision," she says. "Besides, even if you did ask, I would have been fine with it. I have noticed for some time that you were harbouring feelings for her, and she you. I'm surprised no one else saw it."

I smile. So Buffy's not under a spell, after all. If Kitty can see it, then it must be true. Buffy loves me. I feel like jumping for joy.

Buffy enters the room with two mugs of blood in her hands. She gives one to the Nerd Fledge without looking at him before approaching me; she hands it over before sitting on my lap like it's the most natural thing in the world. My heart swells at seeing just how comfortable she is with me.

"There you go. 98.6." She leans in and gives me a quick kiss. "There's so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception…" And now she's doing something to my ear which involves her tongue, and _bloody hell_, if she keeps doing that I'm gonna take her up to the Watcher's room and shag her senseless, wedding night be damned.

I reach over to the coffee table and pick up one of the Watcher's notebooks and a pen. "Well, first thing's first, I say we're not having a church wedding." Of course that would be obvious, but I wanna get it out there before Buffy starts making all the important arrangements. I think about suggesting a demon chapel in Vegas, but I doubt Buffy would want to get married in a place like that.

I wouldn't want that for her, either. She deserves more than that. She deserves the world.

"How about a daytime ceremony in the park?" she suggests.

I scoff. "Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with Mr. Big-Pile-of-Dust." I hear the Watcher enter the room with a drink before he takes a seat in between Kitty and the Nerd Fledge, but I ignore him.

"You have something on your finger called the Gem of Amara," she points out. "You know you have it, so why say that? Are you just trying to be annoying? I don't want you treating our wedding like a big joke!"

I turn to her, about to admit to teasing her, but then I see the most adorable face in the history of adorable faces. And I think Buffy's rubbing off on me if I really thought up that last sentence… Never mind. She's still bloody adorable with that lip sticking out. "Oh, pouty! Look at that lip…gonna get it…gonna get it…"

I just can't stop kissing her. But it's not like I can help it; just making up for lost time. Buffy smiles into the kiss and I can practically feel her shivers of pleasure. "Stop…"

"Yes, please stop." I stop kissing and look over at the Watcher, whose eyes are closed. Is he still having a problem with his eyesight, or can he really not stand to look at us? For his sake I hope it's the former.

I have nothing to worry about with Kitty, who hasn't stopped smiling at us. Nerd Fledge just keeps muttering to himself while taking sips from his mug of blood.

Buffy holds out her hand. "Giles, did you see my ring?"

"Thankfully, not very well."

Ah, so it _is_ the former – with perhaps a little bit of the latter thrown in. That just saved him a lot of pain, at least for the most part. I won't have anyone thinking poorly of my girl, despite knowing, deep down, that they're partly right. I know she's too good for me, but she chose me, and unless she changes her mind – and God, she'll break my heart if she does – that's how it's gonna be.

Buffy gets up, and after throwing a reassuring look my way, she walks over to the Watcher and sits on the coffee table in front of him. "I'm not crazy, and I know that you probably don't approve. My father's not that far away and I know that he could…" She stops herself from rambling and takes the Watcher's hand in hers. "But this day is about family – my real family. And I would like you to be the one to give me away."

The Watcher's face lights up with a brilliantly touched smile. "Oh…Buffy, I… That-that's so…" But of course he catches himself, remembers who Buffy's marrying and turns away, hand rubbing his face. "Oh, for God's sake! This is nonsense! Something is making you act this way! Don't you realize what you're doing?"

Buffy turns to me, and seeing her there – staring at me like I'm her whole world – makes me happier than I've ever been. If I'd been cursed with a soul, I would've lost it a hundred times over by now.

"I'm living the dream," she says, her eyes never leaving mine.

I send her a reassuring smile. "He's gonna have to have a bit of time to get used to it, pet."

"They all will," she admits. "I guess it won't be that bad. Everyone likes you well enough already, since you've been helping us." She turns back to the Watcher. "And if you remember, you guys weren't crazy about Angel first, either."

I sit upright. Of course she had to bring up that wanker's name. I know she's over him now, thanks to my advice and to said wanker's actions, but that doesn't make it hurt any less, her bringing him up. "You weren't gonna say that name."

For her part, she looks apologetic. "Sorry. Err…why don't we talk about where we're gonna register?"

But for some reason, I just can't let it go. Bloody hell, and I was so happy barely a few moments ago. I blame my temper. "Well, where would Angel like to register? And can we have the photographer Angel would've wanted, and the flowers Angel would've liked?" I slam the notebook down on the table. This was supposed to be a night of celebration, and then she has to ruin it by bringing up her ex. It's worse than when Dru kept rambling on and on about him.

"Hey!" She stands up, looking just as pissed. "You think I don't live with the shadow of Drusilla over my head? That I'm worried you're gonna be thinking about her on our honeymoon when…" The anger in her eyes suddenly dies, "…you're making sweet love to me."

And how can I stay mad at her when she says those words and looks like that? I can't wait to, in her words, "make sweet love" to her. I'll be worshiping her body for hours, making her come over and over until she can't walk straight. Doesn't really matter where we go on our honeymoon; she won't be leaving the bed for the entire duration of the trip. Won't be wearing any clothes, either.

I open my arms and she falls into them, our lips meeting in a fiery passion.

We're interrupted by something smashing, and we both look up in time to see that it was the Watcher who knocked over his glass of… Is that scotch? Bloody hell, he really can't stand us.

"Mr. Giles, are you well?" asks Kitty.

The Watcher looks ahead of him blankly, eyes wide. "I rather think not," he stammers. "I seem to be rather, um…rather blind. Completely, in fact."

"What?" Buffy gets up and hurries over to him. "How could this happen?" She waves her hand in front of his face, but he doesn't blink.

"A spell, I believe."

"We'll fix it, don't worry."

I get up to search through the bookcase. The Watcher may not approve of me – which I don't get; we've been getting along so well lately – but I still need to help him for Buffy's sake. He's gonna be part of the family, and Buffy would want us to get along. He may not get that, but I do. "What you want is a general reversal spell. Gonna need supplies."

"Are you…helping me?" the Watcher asks in confusion.

"In case you forgot, Watcher, I've been helpin' you lot for the past couple of months now," I tell him. "And even if that weren't the case, you're almost like my father-in-law, aren't you?"

Buffy smiles. "See? This is how it's gonna be. Spike and Juno will even take care of you while I'm at the Magic Shop." She approaches me, the smile never leaving her face. "From now on, we're a family." She kisses me, and for the umpteenth time that night, my heart soars.

I know why I kept my feelings hidden. I was afraid that she would reject me, and not just because she wouldn't love me back; Buffy always likes the approval of her friends and family, and I could never really see her standing up to them for my sake. But seeing her not backing down in the face of her Watcher, well… It's more than I ever hoped for.

And there'll be problems, of course. Mostly from the Ponce. Can't imagine Red having much of a problem, since she's dating Wolf Boy. And Wolf Boy himself should be fine with it, and Demon Girl too. Not sure about Joyce. She likes me well enough, but doesn't like the idea of her daughter dating a vampire – which is once again the fault of Peaches – but like I said, she likes me, so she should come around.

"It's alright. I have more scotch."

I only hope the Watcher does, too.


	21. Chapter Twenty: Ring

**Chapter Notes**: I'd like to say a big thank you to those who responded to my oneshot, _Cry_. Your kind words are appreciated and have been a bright spot in this difficult time.

The very beginning of this chapter is Buffy's POV of the initial proposal, before we carry on with the story.

* * *

><p><strong>Buffy<strong>

"Buffy Summers, you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever met. Will you do me the honour of marryin' me?"

I gaze down at Spike in wonder. He's kneeling before me like the gentleman I've always suspected him of being, with one of his many rings held out towards me in a nervously shaking hand. It's not just a ring he's giving me; it's his heart.

And how can I turn him down when he's offering me his heart? I know he's changed. I know I can't date a normal guy. I know that the fault of my relationship with Angel was Angel himself, and not the fact that he's a vampire. And somehow I know that my growing friendship with Spike has been building up to this. Only now do I realize just how fast it was moving.

"Marry you. Wow, it's…just so sudden. I don't know what to say." It _is_ sudden, and I wonder for a moment if we're moving too fast. The problem with Angel was how fast we dove into our relationship; we didn't think, and that's how it all fell apart.

But is there really much to think about with Spike? I realize I've been thinking about it sub-consciously for the past few weeks. Spike is nothing like Angel; he and I don't have the same problems as Angel and I did. He's a completely different vampire, and their Aurelian linage is the only thing they have in common. Nothing else. And I can't think of any different problems other than the fact that he used to be my enemy, and my friends and Giles won't be that accepting of us.

But I don't care. Love conquers all, right?

"Just say 'yes', and make me the happiest man on Earth."

How can I say 'no' to him? How can I deny us this happiness we both deserve?

I take the ring and slip it on my finger. "Oh, Spike… Of course it's 'yes'!"

Spike gives me the widest smile I've ever seen, looking at me like I'm the light of his life; like I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. It makes me feel loved, and for the first time since before my seventeenth birthday – maybe even before I was called as the Slayer – I feel happy. And I know I'm making him feel the same way. We both rise to our feet and our lips meet.

"What on Earth is…?" I hear Giles, and I pull away from the kiss to see him staring at us from across the room. His eyes widen, and I hope he doesn't start yelling at me. I know it'll come eventually, but right now I want to enjoy this moment.

I keep my arms around Spike as I hold out my hand towards Giles. "Giles, you won't believe what's just happened!" Spike buries his face into my neck as he runs his fingers through my hair, and my whole body reacts with pleasure at his touch. My God, the things this man makes me feel…

I notice that Giles is still staring at us in shock. "What…on…Earth…?"

Jonathon says something, but I ignore him. This is the happiest day of my life, and no one's going to ruin it for me.

* * *

><p>I walk out of the Magic Shop, wondering what I'm going to tell Giles. They were all out of the weird root that I can't remember the name of (I have it written down, so it's no big), but they'll have some tomorrow. It's not like there's none left in the world. I only hope Giles doesn't get any worse. I can't stand seeing him all weak and in pain.<p>

I smile at the thought of who else I'll see when I arrive back. Spike. I can't believe I never saw it before; how perfect we are for each other. I could make an entire list of all the things that make us the perfect couple. It makes me wonder why I pushed my feelings down. I mean, it's not like he's evil anymore. Giles claims it's the result of some stray spell, but I was having thoughts about Spike before now, so obviously it's real and not magic.

I'm about to head on back when I see something in the window of the bridal store. It's a wedding dress. Big and white and how wedding dresses should look. It looks too over-the-top for my tastes, but it's beautiful anyway, and seeing the dress gets me all emotional as I think about how perfect our wedding's going to be.

"Hey, Buffy." I turn around and see Riley approaching me. "What's up?"

I'm still mad at him for what he did to Juno, and still annoyed that he's not taking the hint that I'm not interested, but… In my good mood, I can't be angry. I'll probably go back to being angry at him later, but not right now. I don't want anything ruining the happiest night of my life. "Riley, look," I tell him, turning back to the dress. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Um…yeah," he says, confused. "It's nice. A little dressy for school, but…" He shakes his head. "Listen, I know you weren't up for the picnic, but maybe if you want I could take you out driving sometime…"

And again with the asking-of-Buffy-on-a-date. This guy really doesn't know how to take a hint. I'm so glad Spike's not here, because if he didn't want to rip Riley's head of before, he sure would now.

"Riley," I interrupt him. "I know you really like me, and you really are trying, but…I can't date you." He looks upset, and I keep on talking. "Before I just really wasn't into you, but now it'd kinda put a damper on the wedding."

"The wedding? What wedding?"

"_My_ wedding!" I beam as I show him my ring. I'm so glad to finally be showing someone else, even if it _is_ Riley. Part of me wants to run screaming down Main Street announcing my engagement to the Heavens, or wherever it is the PTB live. "I'm getting married! Can you believe it?"

He stares at me in shock. "I don't think those were strong enough words…"

"I know! It's crazy!" I tell him. "I mean, we've fought for all these years, but maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other. And then he shows up with his sister, and I realize that he's really not such a bad guy, but even then I didn't want to admit it. Then something changed tonight. I looked at him…and I just knew. That happens, sometimes, doesn't it? You look at someone and you just _know_. You know?"

"No." He sighs, and I can see that he's confused. "Can we start again? Because…I just need to clear a few things up. Were you dating this guy?"

"Does it matter? I love him."

I can tell that he's trying not to get frustrated. "You could've told me that before, but… What's his name?"

"Spike."

His eyebrow rises. "_That's_ a name?"

"You're mad, aren't you?"

"No, I am!" And realizing what he's said and admitted, he sighs again. "I really… Wow. Who is this guy? Does he go here?"

"Spike? Oh no, he's totally old," I tell him. I realize how bad that probably sounds, but I don't care. It'll chase Riley away, and that's good for everyone.

"Old?" he asks, obviously having fallen for it.

I'm having way too much fun with this. "Well, not as old as my _last_ boyfriend was…"

"OK." Yep, he's officially freaked out. "It's late. And I'm very tired now, so…I'm just gonna go far away and be…away." He turns to hurry away, and I can't help but smirk.

So I couldn't beat him to a pulp like I've been wanting to do, but that still felt good.

* * *

><p>On the way home I make an unexpected stop in another store, which I know I shouldn't have done, but I couldn't help myself. I saw the wedding planner and I just had to have it. The nice lady behind the counter also threw in an adorable cake topper as well. A mini me and a mini Spike.<p>

When I get back to Giles's place I kiss Spike for a whole two minutes – that's gotta be a record for us, a record that will soon be broken – before showing him the wedding planner and cake topper.

I march the latter up his arm. "Dum-dum-du-dum. Dum-dum-du-dum. Dum-dum-da-dum-dum-da-dum…"

He smirks. "You're too bloody adorable, luv."

Giles isn't impressed. He's lying on his couch with a wet cloth over his eyes, and I notice that Juno was somehow able to get a reluctant Jonathon to help out; they're putting away books that Giles must've knocked over in his blindness.

"So the plan is to cure my total incapacitating blindness tomorrow, is it?" asks Giles.

I try not to sigh. I've already explained this to him once. I wonder if the spell is affecting his memory, too. "They were all out of Tagas root at the Magic Shop." Tagas root. I knew writing it down was a smart thing to do. Now I can remember it and it makes me feel clever. "They'll have more tomorrow. I'm completely on top of it." I turn back to Spike and hold up the cake topping. "Aren't they a perfect little us?"

"I don't like him," says Spike. "He's insipid. Clearly human."

"Ooh! Red paint. We can smear a little on the mouth." I smirk. "And then we can add some cute little fangs to go with it, and carve in some bumpies."

He smirks, too. "That's my girl." We kiss again. I'm never gonna get tired of his kisses.

"Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking!" Why can't Giles accept that I'm happy? I meant what I said before; he's like my father, more so than my actual father. His approval would mean the world to me; all I wanna do is make him proud. But not at the cost of losing Spike. I can never lose Spike.

I put the cake topping down before picking up the wedding planner. "Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you want to be 'William the Bloody' or just 'Spike'? Because either way it's gonna look majorly weird."

"Whereas the name 'Buffy' gives it that touch of classic elegance." I glare at him before he smirks. "Just teasin', luv. I can be 'William Pratt'. But only if we agree to take your last name instead of mine. We're not bein' called 'The Pratts'."

"It's _one_ name for you both right now…" I don't get what Giles means, but I think Spike does, judging by the glare.

"How about 'Summers-Pratt'?" I suggest.

Before Spike can answer, the door suddenly flies open. I glance over to see Xander and Anya; they immediately slam the door shut and begin to move something in front of it. "Board up the windows and barricade the doors!" Xander yells.

We all get to our feet. "What's going on?" asks Giles.

"Demons!" announces Anya. "They keep coming and coming!"

"I think we lost them," Xander admits.

"Xander, calm down," I tell him. "If you lost them then it'll give us some time to figure this out. Maybe the demons have something to do with Giles being blind?"

"Giles is blind?" asks Anya. Xander waves a hand in front of my Watcher's face.

"Stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups."

Spike frowns at us all. "You know what I was sayin' before? How I can't believe you lot were able to foil my every plan…"

I see where he's coming from. I rub his arm in comfort to give his 'Big Bad' ego a boost. "Spike's right. We really should get organized."

"Wait…why are you holding hands?" asks Xander.

Spike turns to me with a smile. "They have to hear it sooner or later." I can see the worry in his eyes, and it breaks my heart. I know he's insecure when it comes to these things – he hasn't told me outright, but I can read the signs.

I have to tell my friends and not back down. I reassure Spike by rubbing noses with him before wrapping my arms around him and turning to the others. "Spike and I are getting married!"

Anya just blinks while Xander looks horrified. "How? What? How?"

"Three excellent questions," says Giles.

I kiss Spike again, ignoring Xander's response of, "Can I be blind, too? I really don't wanna see this."

"Wait…don't see…can't see…" I stop kissing Spike and turn to Giles. He's onto something. I can tell. "Jonathon!"

"Me?" says the vampire. "What did I do?"

"You said you tried a spell," Giles tells him. "A spell that allows you to have your will done. It may have needed time to kick in, which would explain why it didn't work on Harmony, but… You told me that I didn't see anything, that Buffy and Spike should get married and that Xander is a demon magnet. Whatever you're saying is coming true."

"Oh." He looks sheepish. "Sorry."

"And Giles and Xander were affected!" I realize. I turn to Spike. "We probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer and you're a vampire. Some kind of natural immunity."

Xander rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right. You're marrying Spike because you're so _right_ for each other."

I expected this from him, even after all Spike's done, but that doesn't make it hurt less. "Xander…"

Spike pulls me closer to comfort me. "That's it, you're off the usher list."

The front door tries to open but doesn't, and then there's a knock. "Guys? Hello?" It's Willow. Xander and Anya un-barricade the door and let her in. "What's going on guys? I got Giles's message. Is it really that bad?"

"Jonathon performed a spell to have his will done," Giles explains. "He made me blind, turned Xander into a demon magnet, and made Buffy and Spike believe that they're in love."

"Well technically, I only told them to get married…"

Willow interrupts him before he can continue. "Oh, I know that spell. I think I have a way to reverse it…" She takes out a small book and opens it up to the right page. "Here it is. 'Let the healing power begin. Let his will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken'."

There's a flash of light, and everything collapses around me.


End file.
